LISTENING SKILLS
There are many good writers and speakers but few good
listeners. Most of us filter the spoken words addressed to us so
that we absorb only some of them – frequently those we want to
hear. Listening is an art which not many people cultivate. But it is
a very necessary one, because a good listener will gather more
information and achieve better rapport with the other person.
And both these effects of good listening are essential to good
communication.
People don’t listen effectively because they are:
■ unable to concentrate, for whatever reason;
■ too preoccupied with themselves;
■ over-concerned with what they are going to say next;
■ uncertain about what they are listening to or why they are
listening to it;
■ unable to follow the points or arguments made by the
speaker;
■ simply not interested in what is being said.
Effective listeners:
■ concentrate on the speaker, following not only words but
also body language, which, through the use of eyes or
gestures, often underlines meaning and gives life to the
message;
■ respond quickly to points made by the speaker, if only in the
shape of encouraging grunts;
■ ask questions frequently to elucidate meaning and to give
the speaker an opportunity to rephrase or underline a point;
■ comment on the points made by the speaker, without inter-
rupting the flow, in order to test understanding and demon-
strate that the speaker and listener are still on the same
wavelength. These comments may reflect back or summarize
something the speaker has said, thus giving an opportunity
for him to reconsider or elucidate the point made;
■ make notes on the key points – even if the notes are not
referred to later they will help to concentrate the mind;
■ are continuously evaluating the messages being delivered to
check that they are understood and relevant to the purpose
of the meeting;
How to Communicate 21