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THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER

Or “Stitch” as he prefers to be called, which means in Karloff-ese, “man

of many pieces.” Unable to communicate much beyond grunting the occa-

sional hostile word, this Monster is a towering mass of menace. However,

Brady manages to sometimes touch a nerve with the big guy, getting an

insight that few others live to see.

What Brady learns is that Stitch, patched together from any number of

unique and generally reluctant “donors”, suffers from the ultimate of

identity crises. Really a sensitive Monster, Stitch is suspicious there

might be a “female part” somewhere in his anatomy, since he occasional-

ly “tends that way.”

When he’s not out on a senseless rampage, Stitch is sentimentally driven

to construct a virtual forest of family trees in hopes of tracking down

any and all lost family members, where he hopes to introduce himself.

But he’s annoyed at popular myth that has the outstretched arms of

Frankenstein Monsters interpreted only as a gesture of hostility.

Sometimes it really means they just want a hug. But then again, some-

times it means they’re trying to throttle you. People should just be able

to tell the difference!

THE VAMPIRE

“Vlad”... an aristocrat of ancient royalty who expects to be treated as

such. But keep an eye on this guy. He thinks with his teeth. Though it’s

not his fault. He is, by nature, a vampire. This means that he... well...

face it, he sucks! However, to his credit he is trying to kick the guzzle-

blood habit, sometimes going as far as committing himself to a blood-

treatment program. Just don’t fall for his “look over there!” trick.

THE MUMMY

Just called “the Mummy” because, with Egyptian burial rites being well

known for giving literal meaning to the phrase: “cat got your tongue”, this

swaddled fellow can’t even enunciate his name. This very lack of commu-

nication skill so easily frustrates him that he’ll start swatting at you if

you don’t understand his mumbled laments.

And this guy wants a lot! Very materialistic (he was buried with all his

earthly possessions, after all), he refuses to throw anything away, and he

can’t pass a dumpster or a landfill without stopping to browse for unique

“treasures” to fill his tomb.

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Figure 6.1 Continued