Chapter 4
whoremongersin Hebrews13:4KJV,which
alsoistranslatedsexual immoralityin the
NIV.)Another exampleisthesupposition
that oralsexisnot really sexbecauseit is
not vaginal.Such rationalizationscan
confusepeopleintodenyingthereality
that sexismuch morethan mere
copulation—it isa physicalexpression of
intimacy,designedfor monogamous,
committedlove.
Guilt.Guilt andshameoften occur
when peoplerealizethey havesinned.God
willforgiveevery sin,if thesinner
confessesandacceptsChrist’sforgiveness.
However,someChristianscarry
unconfessedsin,which interfereswith
their Christian walk.After theromanceis
gone,premaritalsexcan leavepeople
feelingvery ashamed,embarrassed,and
fullof guilt.
Damaged Spiritual Relationship.When
believersplacea desirefor physical
gratification over a desirefor spiritual
authenticity,they willdamagetheir
relationshipwith God.Notoriously they
begin toshun Biblestudy andchurch
attendancebecausethey willfeelguilty
about their sexualbehavior.Without
repentance(confessingandturningaway
from thepath of sinfulbehavior),they will
increasingly choosetofollowtheir passions
insteadof God’spath (2Peter 2:18–19).
Damaged Witness.Wedamageour
usefulnesstoGodwhen weengagein
sexualimmorality.Rather,asPaul
affirmed,“If youkeepyourself pure,you
willbea specialutensilfor honorableuse.
Your lifewillbeclean,andyouwillbe
ready for theMaster touseyoufor every
goodwork”(2Timothy 2:21NLT).A
believer’switness(Christian exampleto
others)becomesdamagedwhen non-
ChristiansbecomeawareChristiansare
participatingin sexualbehavior theBible
forbids.Themost effectiveChristian
witnessisa lifeof Christian purity.
Negative Repercussions.Engagingin
premaritalsexcan havenegative
repercussions.Most premaritalsextakes
placein temporary relationships.The
ensuingguilt can jeopardizethehealth
of futurerelationships.A sexual
relationshipisdesignedtobeuniquewith
each couple,sowhat wasspecialabout one
relationshipcannot berecreatedin another
relationship.Thosewhohavehadprevious
sexualrelationshipsmay findthemselves
subconsciously comparingonesexual
partner with another—somethingwhich
may havea negativeimpact on a future
relationship.
How Do I Decide?
When it comes to sexual activity during
dating,where does one draw the line? Is it
OK to kiss,to touch? How“far”is too far?
Over many years of teaching,advising,
and talking with college students about
this topic,we have found two questions
helpful in clarifying the issues: