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Chapter 4

Common Myths About Dating
and Sex

Navigatingthecomplexwatersof dating
canmakeforadifficultvoyage.Alongwith
peerpressureandculturalrelativism,many
mythsalsoliejustbelowthesurface,
threateningtocapsizeourrelationships,
especiallyourrelationshipwithGod.

Myth 1: Dating Is Good Preparation for
Marriage

If one’smarriedlifeconsistsof going
outtodinnerandseeingamovieevery
night,thenmyth1istrue.However,
marriedlifeismuchmoremundaneand
complicatedthandatingevercouldbe.

Mostmarriedcoupleswillspendmany

hoursdiscussingchildrenandfinances—

topicswhichprobablynevercameupwhen

theyweredating.Marriageofteninvolvesa

greatdealof timeapart,evenwhenboth

partnersareinthesamehouse.Datingisa

fun-filled,temporaryrelationship.If dating

isdonewell,partnershavegottentoknow

eachother’sgoodandbadqualitiesin

dating.Counterfeitcourtship,ortobe

datingapersonyouarenotgoingtomarry,

canleadtomuchdisillusionmentand

brokenexpectations.Evenwhendatingis

donewell,marriagechangesthings.

Marriageisalong-termcommitmentto

thehardworkof buildingandraisinga

family.Whiledatingintroducessomeof the

rolesinrelationshipsasmentionedearlier

versesmayalsorefertootherkinds

of sexuality,thefactheisreferringto

intercourseoutsideof marriageis

unmistakable.Paulthoughtsexual

intercourseforunmarriedpeople

waswrongbecause“itviolatesthe

innerrealityof theact;...because

unmarriedpeopletherebyengagein

alife-unitingactwithoutalife-

unitingintent”(p.110).Biblical

teachingcanstillbeusedasaguide

forsexuality.CanyoutrustGodfor

Hisguidanceinthisareaof yourlife?

How would sexual intercourse affect me,

my family, my relationship and

my walk with God?

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