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Chapter 4


Common Myths About Dating
and Sex


Navigatingthecomplexwatersof dating
canmakeforadifficultvoyage.Alongwith
peerpressureandculturalrelativism,many
mythsalsoliejustbelowthesurface,
threateningtocapsizeourrelationships,
especiallyourrelationshipwithGod.


Myth 1: Dating Is Good Preparation for
Marriage


If one’smarriedlifeconsistsof going
outtodinnerandseeingamovieevery
night,thenmyth1istrue.However,
marriedlifeismuchmoremundaneand
complicatedthandatingevercouldbe.


Mostmarriedcoupleswillspendmany
hoursdiscussingchildrenandfinances—
topicswhichprobablynevercameupwhen
theyweredating.Marriageofteninvolvesa
greatdealof timeapart,evenwhenboth
partnersareinthesamehouse.Datingisa
fun-filled,temporaryrelationship.If dating
isdonewell,partnershavegottentoknow
eachother’sgoodandbadqualitiesin
dating.Counterfeitcourtship,ortobe
datingapersonyouarenotgoingtomarry,
canleadtomuchdisillusionmentand
brokenexpectations.Evenwhendatingis
donewell,marriagechangesthings.
Marriageisalong-termcommitmentto
thehardworkof buildingandraisinga
family.Whiledatingintroducessomeof the
rolesinrelationshipsasmentionedearlier

versesmayalsorefertootherkinds
of sexuality,thefactheisreferringto
intercourseoutsideof marriageis
unmistakable.Paulthoughtsexual
intercourseforunmarriedpeople
waswrongbecause“itviolatesthe
innerrealityof theact;...because
unmarriedpeopletherebyengagein
alife-unitingactwithoutalife-
unitingintent”(p.110).Biblical
teachingcanstillbeusedasaguide
forsexuality.CanyoutrustGodfor
Hisguidanceinthisareaof yourlife?

How would sexual intercourse affect me,
my family, my relationship and
my walk with God?

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