Dating: Getting to KnowYouinthischapter,itisnottotalpreparation.
Thenextchapterdiscussesthekindof
relationshiponemustdevelopinorderto
prepareformarriage.
Myth 2: It’s OK to Date a Non-Christian, If
It’s Not “Serious”
The Bible advises us:“Do not be yoked
together with unbelievers.For what do
righteousness and wickedness have in
common? Or what fellowship can light
have with darkness?”(2 Corinthians 6:14).
A first principle:We mustn’t expect to
convert a partner through a dating
relationship.It is more probable a non-
Christian partner will pull the Christian
away from his or her walk.Second,one
can’t always predict how serious a
relationship will become.All too often
Christians have awakened one morning to
find themselves“in love”with their non-
Christian boyfriend or girlfriend.
Suddenly,they must choose between the
non-Christian partner and their
commitment to God.
Myth 3: When Two Christians Date Each
Another, They Will Not Be Tempted to
Have Sex
Everyone,Christian or not,has a sex
drive.It is part of God’s plan for human
beings to desire one another.Dating only
Christians does not make you immune
from struggles with sexual temptations.In
fact,some time ago researchers identified
a phenomenon they call thenice-girl
dilemma(Scanzoni & Scanzoni,1981).
This describes a religious woman who
cannot accept her own sexual drives and
then finds herself in a sexual encounter.
Since she never considers she might be
involved in premarital sexual activity,she
does not take steps to prepare for such an
encounter—even when her relationship is
getting more and more sexually intimate.
She sees the sexual encounter as just an
isolated mistake—a sin which will never
happen again.She does not seek
contraception,because that would be
admitting she is planning to participate in
immoral activity.The couple does notSexual temptation is just as strong for
Christians as non-Christians.©iStockphoto.com/egering