Marriage and Family Life: The ParentingYearsspiritual support. They look to mom and
dad to make decisions regarding what is
good for them. Over time, and with
consistency, children learn to trust their
parents’wisdom. Parents continue to
earn their children’s trust by nurturing
them and making wise choices for them
until they are ready to make their own
decisions. The degree to which children
learn to trust their parents lays a
foundation for how they will deal with
trust and respect issues in the future.
Since John Bowlby (1969) published
his overarching theory of child
development and attachment, researchers
and clinicians have observed how
nurturing children is essential to a child’s
physical, emotional, and spiritual growth.
Byattachment, Bowlby meant the intense
physical and psychological connection of
an infant to its primary attachment
figure (parent or primary caregiver).
According to Bowlby, the attachment
system essentially“asks”the following
fundamental question: Is the attachment
figure nearby, accessible, and attentive? If
the child perceives the answer to this
question to be yes, he or she feels loved,
secure, and confident, and, behaviorally,
is likely to explore his or her
environment, play with others, and be
sociable. If, however, the child perceives
the answer to this question to be no, the
child experiences anxiety and,
behaviorally, is likely to exhibit
attachment behaviors, ranging from
simple visual searching on the low
extreme to active following and vocal
signaling on the other (Fraley, 2004).
Nurturing is one of the key
ingredients assuring the secure
attachment of children. Nurturing goes
far beyond just providing food, clothing,
and shelter for a child. Diana Baumrind
describesnurturing or nurturanceas
parental responsiveness, which she
defines as the“extent to which parents
intentionally foster individuality, self-
regulation, and self-assertion by being
attuned, supportive, and acquiescent to
the child’s special needs and demands”
(1991, 62).Nurturing is a key part of child rearing
which fosters attachment and trust.ImagefromBigstockPhoto.com/Mwookie