Disagreements can become intense
because family members live together in
close quarters and often have to
coordinate their activities and schedules.
Small annoyances can fester and grow
until they become full-scale blowups.
Knox and Schacht (1999) identify six
sources of conflict in marriage:
Chapter 12
- Behavior: Some annoying behavioral
habits seem to become intolerable
when people live together.An
increasingly problematic behavior
which is the basis for major marital
conflict is addiction. Drinking,
smoking, drugs, and pornography
are all areas which create couple
conflict (Koczyriski, 2004). - Cognitions and perceptions:
Differences in opinions may mean
members do not always get their
way. - Value differences:Values are the basis
for behavior.When family members
disagree on values, one member may
participate in behavior another
finds wrong or offensive. In
addition to differences in
values, conflict can result from
personality differences.
Imposing one’s lifestyle on
another and not valuing
compromise have been shown
to contribute to marital conflict
(Koczyriski, 2004).
4. Inconsistent rules:Children or parents
may express frustration when there
seems to be different rules for
different family members, or when
parents disagree about rules for the
children.
5. Leadership ambiguity: There may be
struggles for power among family
members, or a lack of guidance when
situations need to be clarified. Power
struggles within the family can be a
key element in domestic violence
(Yllo, 2007).
6. Job stress:People are often quite
controlled when they are in a public
situation all day, but sometimes
unload stress on family members
when they arrive home.Along with
job stress, especially for dual career
families, is the division of labor at
home. Uneven distribution of duties
is another major source of conflict
for couples (Koczyriski, 2004).
In parallel conflict style, couples may avoid each
other or give each other the “silent treatment”.© iStockphoto.com / visi.stock