(^18) BODY LANGUAGE SECRETS
SMART WOMEN-FOOLISH CHOICES
Although, women are powerfully intuitive, they
often do not notice the man is lying and therefore,
cannot be trusted. There are well-known reasons
why some women choose deranged men.
Some women subconsciously want to be mis-
treated because they believe they don't deserve to be
treated properly. Others are so terribly lonely they
tolerate horrible behavior so they don't have to be
alone. And, still other women, had neurotic fathers
who didn't, and couldn't, love them. The men these
women seek out are just as screwed up as their
fathers. It is a futile attempt to get the love they
never got from their fathers.
I think it's a combination of all this and much
more that will be covered shortly. Preview—some
women want bad boys to prove their love by chang-
ing into good men.
Attention Women! WHY someone chooses a man
who will hurt her sells psychobabble, pop psychology
books and fuels inane daytime TV talk shows. But,
and this is a big BUT, you, alone, are responsible for
making certain the man you are dating is someone
who will not treat you badly.
One more time. Above all else, trust your intui-
tion. If it feels bad, it is bad.
Body Language Anecdote-Becoming A True
Believer
A few days after watching a video of The Thomas
Crown Affair, Joanna and I were gazing into each
other's eyes as we sipped wine and nibbled hors
d'oeuvres in a quiet restaurant three months into our
relationship. All of a sudden, she forever lost her
doubts about the validity of body language.
Between intense moments of falling deeply into
love, I had shared my knowledge of nonverbal com-
munication with her as idle conversation. She was a
Lines, Lies Or The Truth^19
skeptic, as most people are in the beginning. I had
rented the movie as a subtle attempt at convincing
her. A few hours after watching it, I rewound to the
chess match and seduction scene and asked Joanna
to focus on body language.
As the attractive female investigator matched wits
with Thomas Crown on the chess board, and about
the robbery, she used sexual signals to distract him.
Every time it was his turn to move, she idly, but
sensually, fondled her bishop. In blunt terms, she
masturbated it. Crown could not take his eyes off
what she was doing, lost concentration and gave up
on chess. Joanna wasn't impressed.
Back to wine and hors d'oeuvres. As we were chat-
ting, Joanna abruptly, and loudly, blurted out, "Look
what I'm doing to my glass!" A few nearby diners and
I looked. She was slowly and lovingly stroking the
long stem, up and down, up and down.
Women, as you talk, don't hesitate to use this sub-
tle, powerful nonverbal signal to tell the man he's
doing just fine. Men, the equivalent is to run your
finger slowly around the rim of your glass. If you
want to be slightly blatant, casually touch the tip of
your finger to your mouth now and then to lubricate
the rip of the glass.
A SUGGESTION FOR WOMEN
As explained in the Preface, I am a man, thus, at
times, I write from a man's viewpoint. Some women
readers may feel that I am favoring men because of
this. No, I am acting on the assumptions stated in the
Preface.
So, women, please follow along as I advise the
men. They are learning how to deal with what you
women do, almost instinctively. Thus, you might be
able to identify some areas that you, personally, can
change so that the entire courtship effort is simpli-
nancy kaufman
(Nancy Kaufman)
#1