34 BODY LANGUAGE SECRETSdressing in second-hand store outfits that made her
look even more gawky. But, at any party we both at-
tended, guys who knew we were friends would cor-
ner me and want an introduction. The range ex-
tended from buttoned down, ex-corporate associates,
to studly volleyball buddies and even a few un-
dercover cop acquaintances!
Nancy was always somewhat surprised at her
ability to attract men. One afternoon by the pool I
offered to explain body language fundamentals so
she could improve her batting average. Her reply
was typical Nancy, "I don't want to know what I'm
doing, 'cause I'll start analyzing and screw up
whatever I'm doing right. Besides, that body lan-
guage stuff is horseshit."
I never got to tell her, so I'll tell you what I ob-
served about her unique ability to captivate. At
every gathering she would begin to work her spell
by being genuinely friendly with all of the women
first.
She'd circulate, chatting and gossiping, joking and
poking fun at sacred cows as she expounded her out-
rageous views on sex, men and politics. The effect-
she neutralized most cattiness and competitiveness
that could have been created later.
Fascinated, men watched her as she flowed from
one end of the party to the other. What they saw
was a woman who loved being female. Beyond that
irresistible fundamental, they saw a woman who
unashamedly enjoyed being sensual, and someone
who relished being looked at with desire. But most
of all, everyone, including me, saw a human being
who loved being alive.
How did she communicate all that without a
word? Body language.
In the beginning, when she charmed the women,
Nancy used the same sexual signals and gestures an
Signs Of Interest 35effeminate man would use. In short, when she was
talking with an individual woman, she was also
flirting with her.
But no matter which gender she was with,
Nancy's most obvious body language was her ener-
getic, erect and ready posture. As she chatted with
one person, then another her head would tilt from
one side, then to the other. Nancy touched anyone
she was talking with for any reason as often as
possible. And, she would smile the biggest smile and
laugh the heartiest laugh over even the smallest
incident.
When talking with just about everyone, her pos-
ture was always open. One hand would often be
resting on her hip as the other hand held her drink
low at her side. But, most of all, she made
powerfully direct eye contact with everyone she
looked at, even from afar. If that person was an
interesting man, she'd smile and look down, then
turn away with what we'd all describe as a little
girl's shyness. Then almost immediately, she'd
regain her womanliness and go back to her jubilant
circulating.
If you know an average looking woman like Nancy
who's skillful at attracting men, study her gestures
and postures. Sooner or later, you'll realize how she
does it. You can ask her, but I sincerely doubt if she
can explain. It's something she learned intuitively
as she was growing up by observing women in her
life who were experts.
IN SUMMARY
Frequency of eye contact, the more the better.
Amount of time he, or she, holds your gaze, the
longer the better. How she breaks off eye contact,
down before away is great! Shine of the eyes, the
brighter the better. Direction of body, toward you,
good. Overall posture, erect and alert are good. Tilt of