What To Talk About 101What to leave out, what to leave in.
BOB SEGAR, Against The Wind
What To Talk About
The essence of early courtship conversations is to
communicate, with and without words, This is who I
am. I hope you like me. Tell me about yourself so I
can discover if Hike you.
DYNAMICS—A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE
In the game of backgammon, opening moves are
so crucial the outcome is often decided in 30
seconds. It's the same in this game. When you do
and say the right things during the critical first
moments, the moments turn into minutes. The
longer you sustain contact, the easier it is for her to
see you're safe, then interesting. Only after that, can
she find you attractive.
Once she's decided you're not a threat, she dis-
creetly checks you out physically as the conversation
continues. If you measure up, and if you don't break
any of the Eleven Commandments of Meeting, two
things take place during the next few minutes.
First, she decides if you're a playboy. If you do
nothing and say nothing that makes her think you
are one, the next thing she does is wonder what
you'd be like, should you persuade her.
To persuade her, you must reveal yourself so she
can decide. Talk about what you like and dislike as
you give her plenty of openings to do the same
thing.
STANDARD CONVERSATION
The typical courtship conversation is a casual
chat at a wedding reception. The first topic is how
you and she know the newly married couple. You go
first and tell her. "Hi. I'm Don, on Sally's volleyball
team."
If she doesn't reciprocate, help her past these
awkward first few moments. Give her something
she can handle easily, no matter how anxious she
may be. Something like, "Do you know Sally from
college?"
It makes no difference what she says, you should
always respond with information about yourself,
"Oh yeah? I've known Sally for three years, met her
when I joined the team with Roger, over there, my
boss at Hawaiian Antiques. Do you play volleyball?"
The key is giving her information about you, so
she'll give you information about herself, then you'll
have something to talk about.
You can always say, "Nice reception, great band."
Or, "Nice weather we're having." It's safe, not help-
ful. These statements are useful when your brain
freezes, as it will from time to time.
You have to defrost it quickly though and get
back to revealing yourself. "Seen that new talk show
with Danny Bonaduce? It's like the others but I
keep asking myself when the rest of the Partridge
Family's going to come on. Weird!"
For example, "Did you like the Partridge Family?"
Or, "Sally and Allan always come to my annual
Raider Party. She doesn't like football but loves to
party. You like pro football?"
Always, reveal yourself first, then give her the