Body Language Secrets A Guide During Courtship & Dating

(^104) BODY LANGUAGE SECRETS
topics non-controversial but show yourself. Give her
plenty of opportunities to reciprocate. That's what
this phase is all about.
Reveal more of yourself in second and third con-
versations. What kind of music, cars, clothes, food,
restaurants, and such you like. Later, or, even now,
if the time is right, reveal what you like to do that's
radically different.
Talking about places you've been or are going is
always good unless you come across as trying to im-
press her. If you're able to discuss it without trying
to dazzle her, travel is a good, safe, useful topic.
As always, you go first to find out if she's geo-
graphically desirable, too. Delicately weave in where
you live and which town you work in. You're putting
the ball in her court. If she gives you this info, it's
solid evidence she's attracted to you, even if done in
an oh-by-the-way manner.
Don't push this. Right now it's not important, so
don't blow it. If she reciprocates, great. If not, wait a
few sentences or paragraphs. Don't put any pressure
on. It can be done with grace and subtleness, "Is
that a long drive from where you live?" after she
mentions where she goes to school or works or plays.
If that doesn't get it out of her, wait a while, then
say, "So which town do you live in?" but only when
the time is right. "Where do you live?" is direct and
makes her stumble, as well as feeling pressure. "You
from around here?" is a bush league, boy's move,
demonstrating strong interest too soon.
Keep talking. Keep revealing yourself. Listen for
anything she says that makes it feasible to suggest
future contact for any reason.
SETTING IT UP TO DATE HER
The set up includes disclosing you're single and
available as described above. Other setups include
thinking of some way she could do you a favor. Like
What To Talk About 105
asking if she knows anyone with a VW Thing for
sale or if she sees one for sale to tell you. Anything
to get her to think about you when you're not there.
What can you do a woman usually can't? Hook up
car stereos and home stereos, video cassette record-
ers and other mysterious electronic devices? Can
you do income tax returns? Think. Make a list of
what you can do before you meet her.
LATER CONVERSATIONS AND BEYOND
Continue revealing yourself, especially things you
like to do that she's probably never tried. Other
than that, you only have to talk about topics of
interest to her.
Today, before you meet her, sit down and write a
slanted, interesting one page autobiography. Com-
mit it to memory. She'll ask, probably after two con-
versations, about you and your history. On the first
real date, she'll want to know details, somewhat like
a pedigree. Don't brag. Do say what you've accom-
plished that you're proud of.
Be ready to discuss your divorce honestly and
without sadness or regret in your eyes, tone of voice
or on your face. If you can't do this, you're not ready
for her no matter how ready you are in all other
ways.
Don't be afraid to say you've screwed up. It makes
you a human being. Don't dwell on it and come
across like a loser or a basket case.
At this point, with and without words, you have
passed her tests and proven that you are potentially
worthy.
My advice about not asking for a date, but rather,
suggesting a date, is covered in Dating, the next
chapter, and the next step of this courtship.