120 BODY LANGUAGE SECRETSpeople who are safe. For example, the service people
you meet on a daily basis, at the service station, at
the lunch counter, in the grocery store.
Every day, in every possible setting, make eye
contact and smile. Walking out of the elevator, de-
positing your check, while seating yourself in the
company cafeteria. Make eye contact and smile. Do
it until it's easy and automatic.
DON'T BLIND YOURSELF
As a woman, you must be constantly aware of
your intuition, then trust it. Your emotions cannot,
and will not, lie to you. But, you can deceive yourself
by ignoring your emotions and intuition. That's
blinding yourself, then complaining that you could
not see he was a dishonest hustler.
SMOKE DETECTOR
Smokers give body language readers an added
advantage. The mere act of reaching for a cigarette
often indicates reaching for a security blanket or a
baby's pacifier. Smoke blown up is confidence.
Smoke blown down is lack of confidence, anger or
disgust. Tapping a cigarette on the ashtray like a
drumstick reveals boredom or mild annoyance. But
beating a cigarette on the ashtray angrily is, you
guessed it, a sign of anger.
Dragging deeply on a cigarette is often a dis-
guised gasp of astonishment or a method of pausing
to gather one's thoughts. At other times it's an at-
tempt to relax by breathing deeply then exhaling
deeply.
POSSESSION
Touching means possession and dominance. This
is easiest to see in photos of men posing with their
new boat, antique car, or even a dead deer.
Putting your feet on your desk, even one foot on
the open bottom drawer says, "This is mine."
Helpful Hints 121When someone walks into your office and puts
his hands on your property in any manner, he is
saying, "I am the real owner of everything in this
area, including you!"
Your nonverbal response must be, "Get your
damn hands off my stuff!" Reach over, pick up what-
ever he's fidgeting with. Take possession. Put it
where he can't reach it. Don't say anything. Don't
explain. You are in charge.
In the library or the cafeteria, putting your purse
or briefcase on a table or chair means that piece of
furniture and the surrounding area belongs to you.
PHONE-Y-NESS
It's easiest to be lied to on the telephone. All you
have to go by are the words, the tone of voice and
the pauses. Your eyes get nothing. Beware!
OTHER USES OF BODY LANGUAGE
Encourage your boss to keep talking by appearing
to listen attentively. Sit up, lean forward, nod, give
him a few "uh hull's," raise your eyebrows, tilt your
head. Keep your hands off your face and mouth.
Don't cross your arms in front of your chest. Don't
steeple. Women, don't subconsciously cross and un-
cross your legs or send any other courtship signals.
Overstaying your welcome in his office makes
him see you as dull, inattentive and not getting the
work done. When he's done talking, he looks at his
watch. If you miss that, he straightens papers, then
looks at the papers not at you.'...If you don't get the
hint, he puts his palms on his knees as if he's about
to stand. If you're still babbling, he turns his chair
and faces the door. If he stands up, you're a dimwit
in his eyes.
SEX AND ANTHROPOLOGY
People interested in the biology and evolution of
courtship, see SEX IS NUMBER 4, in the Appendix. I