Life Skills and Leadership Manual - Peace Corps

Life Skills & Leadership: Unit 2, Session 7: Looking at Conflict | Page 106 of 127

II. Information (30 minutes)
Materials:
Flip chart 1: Interests and Positions

A. Finding Common Ground
Participants practice looking for and finding commonalities between each other.

5. Explore commonalities. Ask participants to pair with someone they don’t usually work with or know
   very well.


6. Give the pairs 3-5 minutes to create a list of all the things they have in common. Say:

“In addition to being human and being in the same place as each other right now, there are many

things we have in common. As quickly as possible, find as many commonalities – things you have in

common with your partner – as you can. Think of things you like to do, your family, your beliefs –

anything ... Go!”

7. Ask participants to draw conclusions from this sharing:

“What surprised you? What did you learn about your partner that you didn’t expect?

8. If it hasn’t been covered by participants, say:

“We don’t realize how much we have in common with someone we don’t really know. Or, maybe it’s

not the number of things we have in common that stands out, but how we share some important

things like interests with someone who we might have thought was different than ourselves.

9. Talk about the difference between interests and positions. Say:

“Usually in a sporting event one person (or team) wins and the other loses. Most of the time there

is just one winner. In other parts of our lives, when people disagree or have a conflict with one

another, there is also usually just one winner. The other person goes away with very little (or none)

of what they wanted or needed.

“In a conflict situation, people usually push to get what they want and they tend to forget about the

interests that they share in common. However, when we find our common interests with others we

can create win-win solutions, solutions where the outcomes are good for everyone.

“Here’s an example: A girl complains that her father is making her life difficult because he wants her

to come home directly after school. She would rather to go to the youth center with her friends. She

says that she must have the chance to make her own decisions without her father.

“Her father says that she should be home right after school to do chores around the house and help

cook dinner. He says that she is being selfish and that a daughter should obey her father.