© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.pretty gal, and that becomes a craving to touch her. From that point on, we are fighting our own
natural desires. Most men mistakenly believe that by touching the woman, we can stoke her
flames of desire by showing our interest. Well, we can and we can’t, as we shall see.
Let’s start with a primer on good and bad forms of kino and work forward into how best
to use them with the ladies in your life.
FIRST OF ALL, THE BAD. ...........................................................................................................................
Understand that women are very sensitive to touch, and touch is almost never neutral; it
will either have a positive or negative affect. Some touching is almost universally bad, and
again, this relates to where you are in the continuum of dating with this particular woman. It
depends mostly on how long you’ve known her, and what kind of precedent you have set with
respect to touching. Probably more important than the quantity of touching you use on her is the
relative amount between you. You should aim for touching her just a little less than she wants to
touch you.
Don’t ever touch private or intimate parts of her body until you have received
incontrovertible evidence that she wants you to. Stay away from her butt, her breasts, her legs,
her stomach, until much later. In fact, I would go so far as to suggest holding off on any intimate
touching until she has initiated it or is so obviously in heat you’ll need to wear tear-away
clothing. You must program yourself that you are now a gentleman, with self-discipline and
restraint. You see, women are not used to men having self-discipline, and as a result you will
stand out if you can demonstrate this to her. At some point, however, it will be up to you to
initiate contact, but with discretion.
First, don’t ever touch her in a way that is painful. I know that this may come as a shock
to you, but punching her on the arm, noogies, pinching, or any kind of physically unpleasant
contact is a definite NO-NO. Playground antics were cute when you were seven, but now it’s
time to grow up. Understand that a woman’s first and overriding concern is whether or not you
are safe, and you must be sensitive to this.
You should also recognize that you should never tolerate physical abuse from a woman,
either. If she ever strikes you or lashes out in anger, leave. Do not let a dip in your self-esteem
be your downfall, as it was with Tommy Lee. (Be aware: Studies show that just as many men
are physically abused as women.) A playful swat with a napkin is the extent of it. When you two
are in the throes of passion, she might ask for a spanking, but hey, that’s another topic.
In general, on the first few meetings with her, whether it’s over coffee or a three-course
meal, show some restraint. A lot of restraint. Let’s put it this way, it’s better to hold back too
much than to err on the side of demonstrating physical attention too soon or inappropriately. For
a first meeting, I usually go for a quick hug, which lets them know that I’m not needy, and that
I’m confident enough that I will not shy away from touching. Balance your distance with a