© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.who are all buying into a myth of male perfection: Five foot five, one hundred pounds, with legs
to her neck and boobs like prize-winning cantaloupes.
I think this is generally true, but needs to be amended. Women do use the "butterfly"
behavior to attract men, but it’s not in the sense of “Aren’t you impressed at how good I look in
these clothes/shoes?" It is actually in the sense of "Aren’t you impressed at how much better I
look than other women in these clothes/shoes?"
You see, women are catty because they live in comparison. Everything they have been
brought up with tells them that they exist only in comparison to other women, typically the stick-
bug models on the cover of “Cosmopolitan” or “Vogue.” So, their concern is not as much on
impressing us with their stand-alone looks and qualities as it is with standing out from the herd
of other Kitty-kats. I suspect this also ties to other behavior, such as their heart-stopping
question of "Do I look fat?" They’re thinking about how they look in comparison to other women,
not because they’re worried about not satisfying their man’s ideal. This may help men in
addressing women’s seemingly neurotic questions by phrasing answers the way they really
want to hear them – not the way they are asked. Your answer should always say that there is no
other woman that compares. (But maybe with just a hint of doubt...)
WORDS AND ACTIONS..............................................................................................................................1
Equally important is that you need to pay attention to a woman’s actions, not what she
says. This may sound very contradictory to my previous advice about listening to a woman, but
it’s really not. Her words will tell you facts, things about her and her life, etc., and those are
reliable – for the most part. She’s actually giving you indirect clues. Very often, a woman says
one thing, but means another, and that is precisely why you must only believe what you see
and feel, not what you hear.
For example, a woman tells you she thinks you’re very cute and she really wants to get
together with you, yet she hasn’t returned the last six calls you’ve made, and she is still not
forthcoming with a day this week you two can get together. What is she really saying? Her
actions are doing the talking: She isn’t attracted or interested enough in you. If she was, she
would make the time to get with you. (She most probably is a guy-collector or expert dater,
leading on as many men as she can so she can drive up her own perception of popularity, but
the reason doesn’t matter if she isn’t chasing after you.) When a woman is “busy all the time,”
she’s trying to tell you in woman-speak is that she isn’t interested. She’s trying to drop you a hint
to move on.
Learn to stop listening at a certain point and simply watch what she is doing. Her
actions are the Truth. Her words ... well, she just can’t help saying what she does. She only
wants to avoid hurting your feelings.
DRAMA AND MEANING..............................................................................................................................1
Women have a need for drama, something that has been stated before here and
elsewhere. What does this really mean, though?