The Dating Black book

© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –

Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.

“Hmm,” you say, shaking your head. “I don’t know if I can rearrange my plans...”
“Please? Come on! I’ll take you to dinner! And, I’ll wear that dress you said you liked.”
Now she’s willing to pay a little bit. She still gets her fix, but the price is still reasonable for what
she gets. By the time the Pusher has shown her the price, she doesn’t care anymore. It’s worth
it.
And step by step, a (good) addiction develops.
We all know the horrible affects of love withdrawal when a woman dumps us hard. It’s
like a junkie who’s been cut off cold, getting the shakes and a nervous, obsessed manner that is
upsetting to witness – even pitiful. A lot of guys end up this way because they didn’t realize they
were taking her drug and getting addicted before she got a taste of his.

CONTROL PRINCIPLE...............................................................................................................................

The one who loves the least controls the relationship

During this dating dance we engage in, it is important to understand the principle of
control, and how it influences your decisions. The previous quote pretty much sums up what I’ve
been trying to convey to you with respect to the flow of power in a relationship. Control is what
we as humans seek to have to feel a sense of security. To the degree that you feel in control,
you feel secure and self-confident. To the degree that you feel out of control, you feel insecure
and no confidence.
In a relationship, the one who feels most out of control is usually more infatuated with
the other. Control (perceived or real) is a very strong influence over the amount of attraction you
feel toward someone else, and how they feel about you. Remember back to your teenage years
when you felt wildly obsessed with someone you liked, and how this was often in proportion to
the degree you felt you could influence them. Remember also how you felt when you were with
someone who you felt you could direct to do anything, and they went along with every plan you
had. You probably felt confident in your own abilities, but your attraction to her lowered as you
realized that you had no challenges to overcome. She wasn’t as attractive when she failed to
challenge you through showing the Three S’s.
I am not proposing that relationships become a power struggle, or to seek control of a
woman to meet the needs of your ego. What I am saying is that the only thing you can
control in a relationship is your own thinking and behavior. Ultimately this is all you will
need to draw more women into your life, and to gain the control you need over your
relationships.

FEMALE BEHAVIOR..................................................................................................................................

One common topic of discussion among guys is why women are so concerned about
appearances, and how this relates to their catty behavior. First of all, it’s generally understood
that women dress nice not for men, but for other women. So that they can one-up their rivals,