The Dating Black book

(Dana P.) #1
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direction. You can start to lay the groundwork for this along the way, however, by using sensory
words in your speech.
Here are a few sensory words:



  • Passion

  • Intense/intensity

  • Excitement

  • Sensual

  • Tingling

  • Heartbeat

  • Pleasure

  • Comfortable

  • Heat

  • Trusting

  • Radiant

  • Trance

  • Enthrall

  • Attraction

  • Soothing


Just don’t use too many of these at one time, or you’ll risk coming off sounding like a
sappy romance novel. Tie the use of these charged words together with the Romance Intrigue
questions to gain added effect.


At some point, you should also learn what her modality of learning is: auditory,
kinesthetic, or visual. Most people have a preferred sense when it comes to their learning style,
using their hearing, their sight, or their touch in some way to learn and understand new material.
We use them all at one point or another, but just about everyone has one they use most of the
time. You can figure out which modality it is by listening to how they describe things. Here are a
few examples:



  • “That just doesn’t feel right to me.” “Oh, that sounds so cold and depressing.” “I can’t
    come to grips with that.”
    This person is typically a kinesthetic learner. Recognize her by the tactile words she
    uses. She learns by doing or touching. Probably likes handholding and hugging to
    establish security.

  • “That just doesn’t click.” “That just doesn’t sound right.” “I hear what you’re saying.”
    These keywords tip you off that she is mostly auditory. The words that highlight
    hearing are used most frequently. She learns by hearing instructions. Probably very
    suggestive.

  • “I see what you’re saying.” “That’s not the way I see it.” “Looks good to me.”
    And this person is showing a disposition to visual modes of learning. Even when
    referring to words or sounds, she will use the word “see” as in the first example. She
    learns by seeing, or reading instructions with diagrams. She is probably very fashion
    conscious.

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