© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.o Translation: “I really don’t want to get hurt.” Also: “This is a test. I want to see if
you’re needy and in a hurry to rush me into romance/sex/etc. If you argue with
me in any way, you don’t stand a chance.”
o What you say: “Relationship? Whoahhhhh, there. I might be interested in
pursuing a friendship, but not until I get to know you better. Do you always come
on so strong with guys you’ve just met?”- “Are you dating other people?”
o Potential Mistake: Once again, you probably will feel like you’ve been caught if
she puts this out there. First of all, I’ll assume you took my advice and are seeing
other people. Your first inclination will be to get very wimpy and start to see if you
can meet her expectations. You think if she knew you were seeing other women,
you wouldn’t stand a chance, so you either lie (say “No”), or perhaps get into a
conversation where you appear to do what she wants in order to get what you
want, and agree to premature monogamy – before you’ve even slept together.
o Translation: “I want to know if I’ve got competition.” Also, she is probably lining
up to ask you if you’re a player. She wants to know if she can risk herself to you.
o What you say: “While I still think you’d make a great friend, I’m not sure if I’m
ready to date just one person. I’m also not comfortable talking about other people
we may be seeing. Why do you ask?”
BIG TIP: When all else fails, you can usually avoid a crash and burn by answering any
question using the strategy I revealed earlier: Answer her question with a question. My
favorite is “Why do you ask?” This is especially true for her yes/no questions. I still remember
the Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs asked Elmer Fudd, “Yes or no, have you stopped beating
your wife?” “Uhmm, yes ... er, no, er, I mean...” The person who asks the questions controls
the conversation.
In fact, this is always a good idea, as you’ll discover that she will never come right out
with her concern or objection, and if you give her the opportunity to talk some more, you’ll get
closer to her real reason.