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I’ve been asked many times in the past to point out role models that would help men
understand by example what they should emulate when it comes to behavior. There are a few
that have stood the test of time, and when you watch them in action, you understand why. Real
men are timeless, even if they sometimes appear chauvinistic in their context.
The first is the ultimate example: James Bond. A fictional character, true, but the
various actors who have portrayed him over the years have found that essence of his allure and
brought it to life. Sean Connery was perhaps the best example. Some of James Bond’s defining
male characteristics are:
- Confidence – Can you think of anyone exuding more confidence? He never looks
uncertain, and even when he isn’t sure, he projects an aura of confidence. - Humor – When he screws up or fails, he always has a clever comment to pull a smile
out, even when tied to a slab with a laser slicing towards his crotch. - Sophistication – James knows his stuff when it comes to food, perfume, wine, foreign
languages, technology, you name it. He doesn’t jump in bragging, either. He waits
until the time is right to let you know you’re not getting one past him. - Anger – I’ve said it before: Anger is a good quality to demonstrate from time to time.
I’m not talking about physical violence, but the ability to call a woman on her childish
or disrespectful behavior when it’s needed. You never hear James saying, “Yes,
dear.” You must be able to demonstrate appropriate anger. There must be a penalty
for violating your rules. Get mad when appropriate! Women respect controlled and
justifiable anger.
Another good example of male behavior is Indiana Jones. Again, he’s another fictional
character, but this one is rooted firmly in Harrison Ford’s presentation. Some of Dr. Jones’
attraction qualities are:
- Confidence: As with James Bond, he’s willing to just jump in the game and do
something when the time comes, not wait around to be told what to do. When he’s
got no idea, he grabs a horse and his whip and hee-ya’s right into the thick of it. - Humor: Another of Indiana’s abilities was to find and enjoy the humor in a situation.
- Anger: Just like Mr. Bond, when a woman acts like a princess or pisses him off, he’ll
let her know. Remember the second movie, when he walked out on Willie (Kate
Capshaw) when she was throwing herself at him? He had the balls to turn her down.
If you’ve seen any of the old movies (Pre-1965), you’ll notice how differently men are
portrayed there. They can be very two-dimensional at times, but they always derive their
characters from the essence of masculinity. When you hear James Dean, James Cagney,
Humphrey Bogart, you don’t think wussy; you think strong, confident men. Of the older role
models, none stands out as being better developed than Cary Grant. If you’ve seen him at
work, you’ve seen a master.
- Confidence: Again, the hallmark of male attractiveness. Cary never looked like he
was going to give up or fall back on crying on a woman’s shoulder. See him in “North