© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information."Sheila?" (Desperation apparent in voice) "I just wanted to call you and tell you I love you
and I know you know it, so I won’t try to hide it anymore. I know this will make you fall in love
with me, so please call me back."
(Hours pass. No return call.
Sound of head pounding wall in bathroom. Weeping ensues.)
What’s wrong with this scene? Or, should I ask, what’s terribly familiar?We know what we have to do, but we lack the DISCIPLINE to DO IT!
To every guy who struggles with practicing the strategies we will discuss, find the
strength within yourself to do the things you know you must do. There is no easy way around it.
No simple fix. Just do it is all that can be said, many times.
The trick of our low self-esteem is that we convince ourselves that doing what we think
we want to do is okay if we just think about it enough and rationalize it so that it sounds good.
No, it’s not! Cultivate the strength to do what you know you need to, and if you do, you’ll win.
Bottom line.
Most people don’t change their behavior until they reach a breaking point, and usually a
rebound from anger or despair. Stop the illusions from ruining your love life.
Break these limiting beliefs and behaviors.DELAYED GRATIFICATION – GO SLOW ......................................................................................................
You can’t go into dating with an expectancy of getting, or especially getting quickly. It’s a
lot like an investment plan: You put a little faith money into a few stocks that you think look good
(after researching those stocks adequately, of course.) You check in from time to time to see
what the return is. Some are losers, and you promptly drop those from your portfolio. Some will
appreciate and give you a little return, and those are the ones you invest more in when you see
the action. Put your faith money where you can, and remember to never invest more than you
can afford to lose. Doing this builds a pipeline of dating potential that you have available to
explore.
People avoid commitments. This is why most salespeople are not good, because they
rush for a commitment from their customer before they’re ready. If you try to get a commitment
from a woman too soon, you will raise subconscious defense mechanisms in her. She’ll start to
feel closed-in and smothered. Do not threaten her freedom.
As long as you are initiating the next step (from getting the phone number to getting the
date to getting a kiss, etc.) you can’t go too slow for her. If you can go even slower than she
does without losing her attraction and trust, you have won 90% of the game. She’ll be pursuing
you.
Remember: It’s better to go too slow than too fast.