© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.- I don’t want to screw this one up ...
- I want to focus all my attention on her ...
And the list goes on and on. Men frequently find a very attractive and enticing woman,
and then proceed to ruin all chances with her by focusing every bit of attention on her, making
her the center of their world.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
This kind of obsession is a guaranteed attraction-killer for her. Let’s discuss the reasons
you need to continue to meet and date other women – especially when you meet a girl you
really do like.
1) Attitude and confidence
When you train your sights on one woman, you have no buffer to protect your attitude
and confidence. When she rejects you or turns you down for a date, you fall into the trap
of wondering what you did wrong, or what you should do next. You cannot keep a
healthy, balanced attitude when you’ve got all your eggs in one basket.
We all have a fear of loss, and that fear comes from a fundamental belief that we lack
choices. When you understand that you have more choices than you need, your
confidence skyrockets. Your fear of loss will dissipate and you’ll relax because you know
this one is not the last one. You will dilute your rejection and pain.2) Perspective and comparison
When you date more than one woman, you will have a frame of reference to compare
and contrast their personalities, behavior, integrity, etc. You need to have a Truth check
to keep perspective while you are dating. It’s too easy to start rationalizing her behaviors
and red flags when you have nothing to compare against.3) Perceived value
Women want what other women want. A man in demand is a man that a woman will
watch and wonder, what’s he all about?
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend not just because they are rare, and expensive, but
because all the other women want them, too. Demand. What is common is not valued,
and what is easily obtained is common.4) The Obsessive Self-destruct – The Downward Spiral
See if this sounds familiar: Dave finds Stacy, a gal he really likes. He calls her and sets
up a coffee appointment. They meet, and they get along well. Still high from his coffee
date, Dave goes home and leaves a message on Stacy’s answering machine, telling her
how he thinks she’s great and wants to go to dinner sometime. She returns his call and
they set up a date for later in the week. They go to dinner, and Dave is totally focused on
Stacy, and she feels it, causing her to be on her guard. She becomes aloof and distant,
feeling the pressure. The date ends and things are a bit awkward. Dave worries and
calls her at home over the next three days. He panics and tries to reel Stacy back in.
Stacy responds by further avoiding Dave, desperately trying to find air to breathe. And
the spiral goes on...