The Dating Black book

(Dana P.) #1
© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
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LoserBoy: Forget it! She’s obviously not interested, since she’s looking in a
different direction. She probably doesn’t even like Italian guys. I’m even guessing
she has hideous toes. Maybe even webbed feet. Finish your drink and let’s go...

I did make an assumption there – that you will act on your desire. What you need to do,
if you cannot seem to get up the nerve to act, is to act in spite of your fears. You have to learn
to practice the Three Second Rule.


The Three Second Rule......................................................................................................................


The Three Second Rule states that you have three seconds from the moment you are
presented with an opportunity to meet a woman to when you actually take action. After the three
seconds are up, your mind will turn against you and sabotage all your chances of an effective,
confident introduction. In the previous example, if Tom had deliberated for longer than three
seconds, his LoserBoy dialogue would have kicked in.


LoserBoy would have said anything to keep Tom at home with him on the couch with the
X-box, getting fat, lazy, and more sexually abstinent. Act now, before LoserBoy can open his
mouth. If you jump to action within the Three Second limit, you will find yourself short-circuiting
that inner monologue, and you’ll even start to feel better about your misses. You’ll find you
approach women more because the fear is muted, and when you approach more women, you
get more hits, and the hits will make you more successful overall. This puts you on the Upward
Spiral, instead of the self-destructive Downward Spiral most men enable when they start to
obsess and lose their self-control.
Three seconds is also an important time for her, too. She noticed that Tom noticed her,
and a timer was started in the back of her mind. She wasn’t aware it was there, but if Tom had
taken too much longer to deliberate and wonder if he should, if she’s his type, if, if, if... she
would have sensed his insecurity and discounted him as not being very self-confident.
Yes, there is a part of women that is flattered when you seem a little tongue-tied or shy
to talk, but that flattery doesn’t last very long, or get you very far. Skip the flattery and just get
her phone number.


The Comfort Zone...............................................................................................................................


We’re working to break through the comfort zone you’ve built around yourself. The
comfort zone is the safe and secure cocoon we all create to give us an illusion of safety and
stability. It started out as your crib when you were a baby, then it expanded to include your
bedroom (is there a more sacred place to anyone than their childhood room?) After that, it
started to include the house you grew up in, then the neighborhood you lived in, and so on. The
problem with this zone is that it’s not just the physical surroundings about you; it includes your

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