The Dating Black book

© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –

Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.

90% of what we worry about never happens,

and 90% of what happens to us, we never had a chance to worry about

Jump, and the Net Will Appear ...........................................................................................................

Essentially, what many men are doing is waiting. Waiting for permission. Waiting for fate.
Waiting for the right moment. In fact, every person on the planet has something they want and
are just waiting to have happen, but haven’t made it happen yet.
Admit it, haven’t you sat at a bar or at a social event and seen someone you thought
was interesting, and haven’t you found yourself sitting there waiting for something to happen?
You don’t really hear words in your head telling you to not walk over and start talking to her, but
you sit there battling a silent fear inside you that tells you that there is only pain ahead.
You have to jump first, and then your net will appear. You have to take a leap of faith,
and understand that your cushion or safety – your net – is not going to be visible to you at this
second, especially when facing a challenge. Your net is invisible at this point, and it will not
appear until you act.

Let me give you an example of how this works:

Tom goes out to make a deposit at the ATM during his lunch hour. He sees an

attractive woman and wonders if he should talk to her. She’s talking with another

gal, and Tom starts to feel the creeping fear of being shot down. He bolsters up a

bit of courage, walks over and says “Hello” to her as he heads to the ATM,

forcing himself to keep eye contact. She smiles and says “Hi” back, and keeps

her eyes on him. Tom stops, walks up and starts some small talk with the two of

them. After a minute, he tells them he has to leave, but would love to continue

the conversation at a later date. He closes for her phone number, but she says

she’s engaged. However, her friend, Tina, is interested and offers Tom her

phone number instead. Tom gladly takes it and heads off to the ATM machine.

Tom’s net wasn’t visible until he acted. In this situation, the friend that happened to be
available (and interested) was the net. In another situation, he might not get a phone number at
all, but the net will still catch him. Each situation has a net built in, but it will be up to you to find
it. You can choose to see the situation as a bust – you failed to get a number, a kiss, a grope –
but the experience and opportunity you gain from the situation will be your net. And you want to
have the faith that the net is out there without seeing it, or you will fail to take action.
There are men who would say this is a mind game, a trick to tell yourself that you’re
inventing meaning from nothing. To this I tell you, if I have a choice of taking action and coming
away with a lesson learned that will improve my ability – as well as a phone number – or doing
nothing and getting nothing, no experience or number ... Well, which would you choose?

You miss every shot you don’t take.

-Wayne Gretzky