ocean temperature, the distance to land, and the time until your
possible rescue from a lifeboat.
In our society, there seems to be a very wide variation in what
feelings are acceptable. This fact indicates that we decide which
feelings are acceptable quite arbitrarily. Because the decision about
the acceptability of different feelings is arbitrary, it’s as possible to
change your judgment about particular feelings as readily as you
can cultivate an appreciation for food that is new to you.
Some people love roller coasters; others hate them. Aficionados
feel excited and thrilled by the rides; others feel nauseous and terri-
fied. The aficionados accept the feelings that roller coasters bring
up, but the others judge them as bad. Thus, acceptance determines
the difference between excitement and fear.
Some people enjoy sad movies. Video rental stores offer a section
for tear-jerkers. The tragedies that befall the characters offer fans a
more acceptable and positive perspective about their own troubles.
People with zero tolerance for such movies may find them uncom-
fortable because of their own unresolved feelings of loss. Thus, ac-
ceptance determines the difference between gratitude and sadness.
No one would claim that developing an appreciation for roller
coasters or sad movies is going to make much of a difference in your
financial success. Yet many activities related to your career and fi-
nances bring up intense feelings like these. How you deal with these
intense feelings significantly determines your financial success.
Accept Anger to Increase Resourcefulness
and Determination
To most people, anger is the most socially unacceptable emotion. A
person whose life is consumed by fear or sadness or even by jealousy
or gluttony can expect at least some compassion. Rage-aholics get
no such compassion.
Nevertheless, we all feel angry sometimes. Because anger is so so-
cially unacceptable, we tend to justify our anger, if it is not OK with
us. This justification process creates a downward emotional spiral.
Say you feel angry, and you do not accept this response. You seek to
justify your anger by focusing on your valid reasons for feeling angry.
Focusing on these reasons naturally causes the anger to intensify,
which creates the need for additional justification. Do this long
enough and consistently enough, and you will become depressed.
A variation of this pattern can be seen in intense arguments be-
Accept Anger to Increase Resourcefulness and Determination 125