RETRAINING YOURSELF TO BE CONFIDENT
All the habits listed in the previous chapter spring from how you have trained yourself to
react to certain situations.
In order to become supremely confident, you must retrain your brain to react in positive
ways rather than negative ones. This will take both persistence and practice, but
eventually you can permanently reshape the way your react to your world.
There are five states of being that I want you to focus on in order to retrain yourself to
escape all your bad habits and negative emotions. They are:
- Calmness
- Clarification
- Challenge
- Comfort
- Confidence
Let’s go into each of these states.
Calmness: In order to think clearly, you have to be in a calm state of mind.
You don’t need to be zen-like in your calmness, just calm down a little in order to get
your wits about you. Anger and anxiety are fast acting emotions, they come on quickly,
but they can also cool down just as quickly.
When you experience bad emotions, try to calm yourself. Take deep breaths, close your
eyes, clear your head, say “I will calm down and think” three times to yourself. Same if
you’re feeling sad, lonely, or depressed. Find a sense of calm to soothe yourself with.
The calmer you get, the better decisions you can make. The WORST thing you can do is
make decisions based on emotion. Always try to calm yourself before you make any type
of decision.
Clarification: As Joe Friday used to say “Just the facts ma’am.” Once you’ve calmed
yourself, it’s time to look at the facts that are available to you and clarify exactly what it
is you’re feeling. Ask yourself:
- What exactly am I feeling?
- Does my behavior indicate I’m feeling this way?
- What lies beneath these feelings?
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