THE GREAT VIRGINITY MYTH
From time to time, I’ll find myself counseling a guy about dating who’s never had sex
before. These guys have ranged from young (18 to 22) all the way to old (in one case,
56!).
But no matter how old or young they might be, they always share the same problems.
I have found that most men who lose their virginity at an extremely young age, as in
anywhere from 10 years of age to 16 years of age, have a very different outlook and
attitude about women than men who hold onto their virginity into adulthood.
Now, it might seem shocking that there are ten year old boys out there having sex – and
trust me, it IS shocking. A good friend of mine, a guy many might consider a “natural”
with women, one day told me about the day he lost his virginity.
He said he was ten years old, and out in his front yard playing. A neighbor, a married
woman who his family liked, called him into her house for some cookies and lemonade.
My friend told me he would always tell his neighbor how pretty she was, and this day
was no different.
Except this day, the neighbor, who was going through a difficult time with her husband,
thanked him by kissing him. My friend got aroused, and began crying. When the
neighbor asked why he was crying, he pointed out his erection and said he didn’t know
what was going on.
His neighbor then proceeded to help “relieve” the problem.
After this story, I was aghast. I told my friend “What happened to her? Did she get
locked up?”
My friend laughed. “Are you kidding? I may not have known what was happening but I
knew I liked it. I went over to her house as much as I could!”
When I want to know about a man’s sexual development when I do consultations and
counseling, I often ask them when it was they lost their virginity. It never surprises me
how many men lost it before they were 15 years old. Oddly enough, I’ve found these are
the men who are the most well-adjusted around women.
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