The Art of Approaching

(Rick Simeone) #1

Always be sure to influence a woman in a way that ensures that you haven't damaged
your ability to influence this woman again in the future.


In other words, the woman you seduce must benefit from the change you've created.


The ability to influence women is not simply inborn. We can learn to become
dramatically more successful at it.


For centuries, the ability to be influential and persuasive has been thought of as an art, but
there's also a science to it. And if it's scientific, it means it can be taught. It can be learned.
So we all have the potential to become more influential as a consequence.


We can learn to influence women by harnessing one or more of the six universal
principles of influence:



  • Reciprocation. Women give back to you the kind of treatment that they have
    received from you.

  • Scarcity. Women will try to seize the opportunities that you offer them, that are
    rare or dwindling in availability.

  • Authority. Women will be most persuaded by you when they see you as having
    knowledge and credibility on a topic.

  • Commitment. Women will feel a need to comply with your request if it is
    consistent with what they have publicly committed themselves to in your presence.

  • Liking. Women prefer to say yes to your requests to the degree that they know
    and like you. No surprise there.

  • Consensus. Women will be likely to say yes to your request if you give them
    evidence that people just like them have been saying yes to it.


Just because there are six optimal approaches to influence doesn't mean that everyone
uses them optimally.


In fact, there are three kinds of influence practitioners. There are bunglers of influence;
there are smugglers of influence; and then there are sleuths of influence-the detectives of
influence.



  • Bunglers are the people who fumble away their chances to use the principles of
    influence in a beneficial way, either because they don't know what the principles
    are or because they don't know how to engage them properly. These people are
    always dropping the ball when it comes to the influence process.

  • Smugglers, on the other hand, do know--quite well--what the principles are and
    how they work. But they import these principles into situations where they don't
    naturally exist. An example would be a man who pretends to be a millionaire in
    order to get a woman to sleep with him. Although the smuggler's approach often
    works in the short run, it's deadly in the long run. Because only one person (the
    smuggler) wins. The woman, who gets fooled into sleeping with a man who isn’t


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