Chapter 7: Creating Rapport 123
✓ Recognise that you’re unconsciously resisting the people or the situa-
tion in which you find yourself, or that somebody else is resisting you.
✓ Consider what the reason for this may be, remembering that the uncon-
scious mind is naturally protecting you (see Chapter 3).
✓ Refine your rapport building skills by deliberately matching, mirroring
and pacing the other person until they are willing to connect with you.
Overcoming your resistance to developing rapport with someone can take
some time, because you have to examine your past to understand your
defensive behaviour. You may need the help of a coach or friend to gain this
understanding: for example, you may have real justification for your doubts
about getting too close to someone. When you discover the reason for your
own resistance, you can give yourself permission to develop the rapport that
you’re seeking.