122 Part II: Winning Friends and Influencing People
Figure 7-2:
The NLP
meta-mirror
exercise.
Second position Fourth position
First position
Third position
- Now shake that off and stand in the third position, that of the indepen-
dent observer viewing both people in this relationship impartially.
Looking at yourself in the first position, how do you respond to that ‘you’?
- Now shake that off and stand in a further external space, the fourth
position.
Think about how your thoughts in the third position compared with
your reactions in the first position and switch them around. For exam-
ple, in the first position you may have felt confused, whereas in the third
position you may have felt sadness. Whatever your reactions, in your
mind’s eye switch them to the opposite positions.
- Go back and revisit the second position.
Ask yourself ‘How is this different now? What’s changed?’
- Finish by coming home to the first position.
Ask yourself: ‘How is this different now? What’s changed?’
Although doing these exercises can seem very strange at first, do persist.
When you move physically into a different space, considering the different per-
spectives is important. Simply by moving your body to another place in the
room, you unlock the thinking of the previous position. You can also do these
exercises by moving between different chairs.
In NLP circles, resistance is often cited as a lack of rapport. For example,
somebody may resist your attempts to get to know them better by being
stand-offish and excluding you from a conversation. Or, you may resist making
the effort to connect with someone who appears different from you. If you find
yourself in situations where you don’t always have the rapport with people
that would be useful, you may need to try the following:
