140 Part II: Winning Friends and Influencing People
A person who has a difference meta program is likely to say, ‘They’re laid out
differently.’
Figure 8-2:
The same-
ness/
sameness
with dif-
ference/
difference
game.
If you don’t have rectangles, bar mats, or coasters, use three one-pound
coins and place two with their heads up and one with the tail up and ask
about the relationship between the three coins.
✓ People with a preference for sameness use words such as ‘same’, ‘similar’,
‘in common’, ‘as always’, ‘static’, ‘unaltered’, ‘as good as’, and ‘identical’.
✓ People who operate from a sameness-with-difference base use words
and phrases such as ‘the same except’, ‘better’, ‘improve’, ‘gradual’,
‘increase’, ‘evolutionary’, ‘less’, ‘although’, and ‘same but the difference
is.. .’.
✓ People who operate at the difference end of the spectrum use words
and phrases such as ‘chalk and cheese’, ‘different’, ‘altered’, ‘changed’,
‘revolutionary’, ‘completely new’, and ‘no comparison’. To connect with
them, use these phrases and others such as, ‘I don’t know if you agree or
not.. .’
Tackling Time Perspectives
We show you in Chapter 13 that your memories have a structure and that
they’re in some form of a continuum: a time line linking past, present, and
future. In this section, you discover that another dimension exists to the way
you think about time; whether you have a propensity for focusing more on
the past, present, or future. In his book, The Time Paradox, Philip Zimbardo
