Chapter 14: Smooth Running below Decks 229
More unconscious parts mean more potential for conflict, and therefore
the ideal is to aspire to complete wholeness. For example, when more than
two parts are involved, you can integrate them in pairs. In this section, we
describe two of the more common techniques for integrating conflicting
parts: the visual squash and reframing.Trying the visual squash technique
In principle, this exercise involves identifying the parts involved in a conflict
and discovering their common intention before integrating them.As you work to integrate your parts, keep these tips in mind:✓ Strive to turn a negative answer into a positive outcome. For example, if
you want to do more exercise, and you get the negative answer ‘I don’t
want to spend too much time exercising,’ carry on towards a positive
outcome, such as ‘I want to exercise to fit in with my lifestyle.’
✓ Work with a qualified NLP practitioner or partner who can record your
answers and prompt you with them.
Sue wanted to overcome her resistance to exercising. She did the following
exercise with her friend, Gillian. The part that Sue placed on her right hand
was a young child who was carefree, spontaneous, and very playful. Some of
the things important to the child were freedom, playfulness, joy, and laughter,
with fun being the most important. The part of Sue’s unconscious that she
placed on her left hand was a rather dark, dour, elderly male whose prime
concern was safety. During the exercise, Sue had no trouble working with
the child’s hierarchy of intentions (see point 7 in the following exercise).
However, when she came to work with the male part of her unconscious, Sue
kept forgetting what she’d said for the earlier step and found it very helpful to
have Gillian repeat her exact words to her. Because Sue didn’t feel an affinity
with the male part of her unconscious, she resisted ‘his’ responses and found
having Gillian to hand very helpful.The result of doing this exercise was that Sue realised that a part of her
unconscious mind was nervous that if she exercised and got really healthy,
she would stop treating her body with care. As soon as Sue became aware,
consciously, of the purpose of each part, both parts discovered that their
highest purpose was success.For this exercise to be successful you have to find out what the common inten-
tion is for each part before you try and integrate them. A useful idea is to talk
to the parts and have them acknowledge that each part has a positive inten-
tion for the other and that their conflict is stopping both parts from achieving
their common purpose.