Chapter 15: Getting to the Heart of the Matter: The Meta Model 245
✓ Always? Never? Every?✓ Just imagine you could, what then?
✓ So what happens if you do...?✓ What stops you?Charlie was moaning to Kate that she was struggling to lose weight in spite of
having a good basic diet and not liking sweet food. When Kate asked her friend
Charlie about what she actually ate, she heard the following: ‘Well, I always eat
porridge, I’ve had the same breakfast for 20 years; then I always have a jacket
potato with cheese or beans at lunchtime; and for supper I always have soup
and bread. I never eat after seven in the evening.’ Having heard the generali-
sations in her language, Kate asked what would happen if she tried some dif-
ferent foods, and Charlie went off to investigate fresh meal options. A month
later, Charlie had lost more than three kilograms and had had fun exploring
food aisles in the local supermarket.To begin to explore your own thinking on what’s possible and impossible,
here’s an easy exercise to do in just ten minutes. Beware – it may change your
life forever!- Look at the following phrases and jot down some of the statements
you’ve made in the last week (to yourself as well as to others) that
start with these words:
‘I always.. .’
‘I must.. .’
‘I should.. .’
‘I never.. .’
‘I ought to.. .’
‘I have to.. .’
- Now stop.
- Go back to your list and for each statement ask yourself three
questions:
‘What would happen if I didn’t... ?’
‘When did I decide this?’
‘Is this statement true and helpful for me now?’
- Review your list in the light of the questions you asked.
- Create a revised list for yourself that replaces the words ‘always’,
‘must’, ‘should’, ‘never’, ‘ought to’, and ‘have to’ with the words
‘I choose to.. .’.