Chapter 21: Ten Applications of NLP 339
Negotiating a Win–Win Solution
Suppose that you’re going to enter into an important negotiation in your life:
perhaps you’ve spotted the home of your dreams. NLP can help you to get
the best deal when you’re confronted with estate agents pushing you to buy
the new house at the highest price while selling your current one as low as
possible. NLP helps accomplish your aim by providing principles and
strategies you can use to everybody’s advantage. Take a look at the techniques
in the following list, which although we relate to buying a house you can
apply whether you’re negotiating for a job, buying a car, hiring contract staff
at work, or involved in any conflict resolution:✓ Go for the positive outcome – begin with your desired result in mind.
Use positive language. Always focus on what you want rather than what
you don’t want. For the full story on outcomes, see Chapter 4.✓ Engage your senses – make your outcome more specific by noticing
what it looks like, sounds like, and feels like when you achieve a
successful negotiation. You can get a sense of this technique in Chapter 6.
✓ Note down your hot buttons (your preferred criteria) – focus on five key
elements that are important to you in making the move. Put them in
order of priority and keep returning to them to check that you’re getting
what you want.
✓ Note down the hot buttons from the point of view of the sellers – what’s
important to them? Imagine what being in their shoes would be like and
remind yourself of what they want every time you have contact.
✓ Keep in mind what positive by-products you get from the house you
already have that you don’t want to lose. These positive elements may
be the number of bathrooms, the sunny south-facing garden, or the good
local transport.
✓ Know your bottom line. Be prepared to walk away with no deal instead
of getting carried away in the moment just to complete a deal that’s
disappointing for you.
✓ Manage your state of mind. Staying calm and relaxed when the negotiation
gets to you helps you to make the best next move. Take a look at
Chapter 9 about dropping anchors.
✓ Use the technique of chunking – the ability to be able to shift someone’s
view to the big picture or focus down to specifics confidently. Chunking
is a key skill in any negotiation. If you’re disagreeing on details, chunk
upwards from the specifics of your contract to gain common agreement
on key points, and then you can chunk downwards to smaller issues
when you’ve achieved that common ground. Chapter 15 helps you to
get specific when necessary, while Chapter 16 shows you how to speak
in general terms that are easy to agree with. With this flexibility in your
approach, you increase the chances of the other person hearing your
message loud and clear.