DAY'4'
'
AAA'Club'of'Marriage'
'
How&did&you&do&in&the&admiration&department&yesterday?&Did&you&realize&that&telling&or&showing&
your&husband&how&much&you&admire&him&is&such&a&powerful&way&to&romance&him?&It&is!&Let’s&
spend&one&more&day&on&that&topic.&
&
Back&to&marriage&counselor,&Dr.&Willard&Harley,&who&shares&this&little&tidbit:&
&
Remember&that&a&man&really&needs&appreciation.&He&thrives&on&it.&Many&men&who&come&
to&me&because&they&have&had&affairs&stress&that&the&admiration&of&their&lovers&acted&as&a&
warm&spring&breeze&in&comparison&to&the&arctic&cold&of&their&wives’&criticism.&How&can&
they&resist?&Don’t&make&your&husband&go&outside&your&marriage&for&approval;&he&needs&
the&perspective&your&appreciation&gives&him.&That&does¬&mean&you&have&to&fake&it&
with&him&and&tell&him&you&love&something&that&drives&you&wild,&but&work&with&him&on&the&
needs&you&must&both&fulfill,&setting&up&a&strategy&that&builds&admiration.^3 &
&
Not&all&men&are&admired&at&work.&If&work&is&a&place&where&your&husband&meets&opposition&at&
every&turn&or&leaves&feeling&like&a&failure,&he&will&search&for&someplace&to&be&admired.&It&could&
be&on&the&softball&field,&on&the&racquetball&court,&as&a&deacon&at&the&church,&through&Facebook&
with&old&friends.&How&wonderful&when&that&place&is&in&your&heart,&in&your&arms,&and&in&your&
home.&&
&
In&his&book,&Twenty%Surprisingly%Simple%Rules%and%Tools%for%a%Great%Marriage,&Dr.&Steve&
Stephens&lists&four&types&of&compliments.&&
&
- One&type&is&a&compliment&of&possession,&such&as,&“I&love&that&sweater.”&&
(^3)
Ibid., p. 159