The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along

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188 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating

communicate openly, you have a good chance of creating a new, deeper relationship, and

maybe your dad won’t feel like he’s losing you.

When teens start dating, it takes a while for parents to get used to the idea. Work with

your dad’s comfort level, instead of making demands. For example, you could start with an

agreement about your weekend curfew. Your dad doesn’t necessarily want you home by

eleven because he stops trusting you after that time. I think he just wants to know that you’re

safe, so he won’t worry as much. Maybe you can agree to always tell him where you’re going,

who you’ll be with, how he can reach you, and what time you’ll be home. That way, he might

agree to let you stay out later.

Also, invite your boyfriend (and any close friends) to meet your dad. He’ll appreciate

knowing the people you hang out with. And he may come to trust your boyfriend if he has a

chance to get to know him.

If your dad agrees to a later curfew, this is a good start. Do your best to keep his trust by

sticking to your agreement. After a few months of following the new curfew, you might ask

your dad if you can extend it even later. Again, stick to it so he knows he can trust you. If you

take small steps, act responsibly with your new freedom, and maintain a healthy relationship

with your dad, you’ll probably find him becoming more reasonable. Good luck!

In friendship,

Terra

My parents want to send me

to boarding school!

Hey Terra,

My parents freaked out when they caught me and my boyfriend kissing goodnight in his car.

Now they’re acting like he’s a rapist, which is totally ridiculous since he’s such a sweet guy who

would never hurt me. Besides, we’ve talked about sex and decided that we aren’t ready for

that. My parents won’t listen to me and just keep saying that they don’t trust me anymore.

I’m not allowed to talk to my boyfriend on the phone, and my parents are talking about send-

ing me to an all-girls boarding school next year! Their attitude is unfair, and it makes me want

to go out and do bad stuff since they don’t trust me anyway.

Unfairly Accused