Self-Realization and Other Awakenings

Strangely, I saw much less of this attitude in any
Zen center or monastery. With the Zen masters in the
70s and 80s, we knew who was in charge. The problem
arose more with the Robert-led Sanghas of few rules,
no shared living quarters and no set responsibilities.
Robert was not a disciplinarian, nor did he care much
for the direction that the Sangha went. That meant a
very loose management style, leaving openings for
people to come and go, making suggestions or doing
whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted.
A lot of people become like love-starved little
children, looking for recognition, a kind word or
approval from the Sangha itself, and more and more
access to the teacher.
You see, often a new person comes with infinitely
good intent, filled with a strong desire to know his or
her self and truth; filled with devotion, and loyal to
the entire process, but their own deep and personal
needs get activated. Then instead of using this as a
perfect opportunity for self-inquiry, they get blown
away by the intensity of their own needs as well as by
whatever the guru’s response is, whether giving or
withholding.
This happens to every student at some point, and
usually a multiple number of times, as happened to me
with regard to Robert. While a few asked themselves
these self-investigative questions, most remained