Are You Here To Be A Successful Author? 147walking away from all the negatives, too. I’m going to build a new life.
I’m going to become a new person and I’m going to live a new way. If I
learn anything from all of this, I’m going to share it, and I’m going to
write about it.”
I wanted to go to L.A. and work with actors, musicians, writers,
and directors and talk to them to learn their ideas. I wanted to seriously
communicate with them, find out what their thoughts were, and I did
that. I walked away from all the unconstructive stuff to start anew. Later,
I tried to heal the family relationships but there just wasn’t an opening to
do that. Leaving home was my turning point, and I think the biggest
lesson was this: you have to make a choice. You really can’t have it both
ways, or serve two masters, as they say. I realized that my mom left
because she could not breathe and could not fly. I had done the same
thing. Today, it is easy for me to fly out of any dark reality.
I choose not to focus on the negative in my childhood. There
have been a few people that have read my books and wanted to make
public comment about how sad my childhood was, but I don’t allow it.
To me, it was such a tremendous gift. It is a treasure and I honor and
respect this truth. I could not get seen or heard, of course, but that taught
me to find my own voice. Still, I don’t ever want to say that bad things
happened to me. I really believe that the universe used all of my past for
good. When I was twelve years old I was taught that before you go to
sleep at night you say your prayers, so I would always kneel down by my
bedside and say my prayers. I would say, “Use me as an instrument. I’m
not going to ask you to heal all this other stuff, just use me, use me up,
use me.”
It’s been a little tricky in the sense that I have not done the public
life as well as I wanted to. I’m a lot better about it now. I’m much more
open. Previously, when I reached a peak of “fame,” I walked away. I’ve
faded away twice in the last thirty years and took the time MIA reviewing
my thoughts, intentions, and lifestyle. During that time of reflection,
I’ve received a lot of support from the celebrity community. Most of my
friends are celebrities, which has been very interesting, to say the least.
It has ups and downs. I’ve seen what has happened to them in the fame
game and I probably had the feeling that I was going to lose something
of myself in the process, as they had.
It was actually my daughter that ultimately said, “Wait a minute
Mom, walk your talk here. No one can take anything away from you
unless you let them. You know that. So, just go out there and knock that
wall down and whatever comes, comes” That’s where I’ve been for quite