Ask yourself—if she does this, if she goes ahead, what’s the
worst that can happen? She makes a mess of your floor, ruins
part of the garden, spends money on something you don’t
really want, isn’t around much for a week. Now compare that
to the thought of her leaving or living with you frustrated and
unhappy. Which is worse?
Of course, just because your partner says she wants to do
something doesn’t mean she will. Some very stubborn types
will, however, be more likely to go ahead and do it just
because you’re objecting to everything they mention. Say “yes”
and they might well never bother anyway.
If you look ahead to Rule 64, you will read about how you
should treat your partner better than your best friend, and
being supportive is part of this. We forget that our partner is a
separate entity. We forget that our partner, too, has dreams and
plans and unfulfilled ambitions. It is our job to encourage our
partner to find their path, to realize those ambitions, to stretch
herself to her fullest extent, to be complete and satisfied and
fulfilled. It is not our job to put her down, ridicule her
dreams, belittle her plans, or laugh at her ambitions. It is not
our job to discourage her, put her off, place obstacles in her
path, or restrict her in any way. It is our job to encourage our
partner to soar.
YOU HAVE TO BEPREPARED
FOR HER TO BE
INDEPENDENT, STRONG,
OUT IN THE WORLD
SEPARATE FROM YOU.