ally compliant daughter, the mother attacks her choice. She deplores
the man’s personality, character, or background, sometimes also
calling into question her daughter’s judgment, competence, and
morals. Often the mother recognizes that he is a potential ad-
versary—in fact, this ability to resist her mother was one reason why
the Persephone daughter was attracted to him.
Now, for the first time in her life, the Persephone daughter may
be at odds with her mother and her standards of good-girl behavior.
Her mother or her family may forbid her to see the man she’s chosen.
She may agree (rather than defy them openly) and then sneak off to
see him. Or she may try to convince her mother of his good qualities.
After a certain amount of this struggle, the man usually demands
that she confront her mother or else give up trying to get her mother’s
approval. He may demand that she live with him, marry him, leave
the area with him, or break off contact with her mother. Caught
between the two, she either goes back to the mother and acts the
part of the restored, compliant daughter, or she casts in her lot with
him and makes the break.
If she literally or figuratively does move away from her mother,
she may have begun her journey toward becoming a separate, self-
determining human being. (She does so at the risk of trading a
dominating mother for a dominating man; but usually, having defied
her mother, she has changed and is no longer the compliant person
she once was.) Reconciliation with her mother can come later, after
she herself has gained emotional independence.
SEXUALITY
A woman who is in the phase of Persephone the Maiden is like
Sleeping Beauty or Snow White—asleep or unconscious of her
sexuality, waiting for the prince to come along to awaken her. Many
Persephones eventually are awakened sexually. They discover that
they are passionate, orgasmic women, a discovery that has a positive
effect on their self-esteem. Before, they felt like girls masquerading
as women. (This aspect of Persephone is further discussed later in
this chapter.)
Persephone: The Maiden and Queen of the Underworld, Receptive