Goddesses in Everywoman

(avery) #1

spent only part of the time married, and the rest fantasizing about
other men.


CHILDREN
Although a Persephone woman may have children, she won’t feel
authentic as a mother unless some Demeter is activated in her. She
may stay a daughter who thinks of her own mother as a “real
mother” and of herself as merely playing at the role. An intrusive
mother who, as grandmother, takes over her grandchild makes her
Persephone daughter feel incompetent and accentuates the difficulty.
She may say, “You don’t know how to hold a fussy baby, let me do
it!” Or “I’ll take care of that, you rest.” Or “You aren’t making enough
milk for the baby—maybe you should switch to a bottle.” These
typical comments undermine her daughter’s self-confidence.
The children of a Persephone woman react to her in various ways.
A daughter who has a stronger will and more definite ideas than
her Persephone mother may end up telling her mother what her
mother ought to do rather than vice versa. As she grows
older—sometimes as early as age twelve—a daughter may reverse
roles with a dependent Persephone mother. As adults looking back
on their childhood and adolescence, many such daughters say, “I
didn’t have a mother—I was the mother.” If both mother and
daughter are Persephones, they may become too much alike, espe-
cially if they live together and become mutually dependent on one
another. As the years go by, they may resemble inseparable sisters.
Persephone mothers of assertive sons may feel “run over” by
them. Even as toddlers, little boys can intimidate their Persephone
mothers because when the boys are insistent and angry they appear
to be smaller versions of powerful men. Since it’s foreign to a
Persephone woman to use power in any relationship, it’s unlikely
that she will show such a child “who’s boss.” She may give in to the
demand, fail to set limits, and feel impotent and victimized. Or she
may find an indirect way to shift the focus: charm him into a better
mood, cajole him to change his mind, divert his attention, or get
upset and make him feel guilty or ashamed.
Some sons and daughters of Persephone mothers thrive


Persephone: The Maiden and Queen of the Underworld, Receptive

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