thought, biding her time until she could be on her own. The con-
sequences vary in intensity and severity, but follow a pattern: what
results is a woman who feels conflict about her competence and often
sabotages herself—her own doubts are her worst enemies. Although
on the surface she successfully resisted her father’s power to limit
her aspirations, she incorporated his critical attitude into her psyche.
Deep down, she struggles with feelings that she is not good enough,
hesitates when new opportunities are offered, achieves less than she
is capable of, and, even when she succeeds, still feels inadequate.
This pattern is culturally produced by families and cultures that
place a higher value on sons than on daughters and that expect
daughters to be stereotypically feminine.
One Artemis woman, who attended a seminar I taught, commen-
ted, “My mother wanted a Persephone (a compliant mother’s little
daughter), and my father wanted a son. What they got was me.”
Some mothers of Artemis daughters are also rejecting and critical
of their daughters for pursuing goals that they do not value. Their
daughters usually are not dissuaded by this disapproval, but it
nonetheless is undermining. However, the weight of their mothers’
negativity usually is less than that of their fathers because of the
greater authority fathers carry.
Another common mother-daughter difficulty that Artemis
daughters have is with mothers whom they view as passive and
weak. Their mothers may have been depressed, victimized by alcohol
or a bad marriage, or immature. When they describe their relation-
ships with their mothers, many Artemis daughters in this mother-
daughter configuration say, “I was the parent.” Talking further
brings out their sadness at not having stronger mothers and not being
strong enough themselves to change their mothers’ lives. While the
goddess Artemis was always able to help her mother Leto, the efforts
of Artemis daughters to rescue their mothers was often unsuccessful.
Devaluation and lack of respect for their weak mothers strengthens
the virgin goddess qualities of Artemis daughters. Determined not
to resemble their mothers, they suppress dependency feelings, avoid
expressing vulnerability and vow to be independent.
Goddesses in Everywoman