4 Elementary School–Aged Children 87At a time of life when acceptance by peers is critical to the sense of self, children
with LD may experience the loss of positive peer regard, as well as loss of
esteem in the eyes of their teachers and possibly even parents. While acutely
felt by children, losses of esteem often are unrecognized by adults, in some part
because of a widespread folk belief that children, especially those with cog-
nitive differences, do not feel such losses. Wilkenfeld’s reading at the end of
the Tweens/Teens chapter illustrates the reality. She shows that children with
disabilities do indeed experience losses but may indicate their losses in uncon-
ventional ways. When they live in communities where they are more “abled”
by accommodations and have a group of similar peers, they may experience a
greater sense of self-efficacy as well as support for mourning losses.
Erikson (1980) posited that in the elementary school years, children must
resolve the crisis of initiative versus guilt followed by industry versus infe-
riority. Given these crises, children who have difficulty succeeding in school
and peer relationships risk developing a sense of guilt and poor self-image.
Between the ages of 5 and 7, Piaget (1954) theorized that children move from
preoperational thought processes to concrete operations processes, which
remain with them to the age of 11 or 12. The preoperational stage is charac-
terized by egocentric thinking and an inability (according to Piaget, though
questioned by others) to put themselves in the position of others. They tend
to attribute human characteristics to inanimate objects and magical thinking
(a belief that their thoughts can influence events) is strong. Clearly, if a loss due
to death occurs, children are at risk if they believe that their hostile thoughts
may have caused the death.
By the concrete operations stage, children have more understanding of
causation, quantity, and symbolic action, yet they seem unable to engage in
very abstract or hypothetical thought. They can take the role of the other and
are able to play games and do role-taking activities in ways that Piaget asserted
were impossible before this point. Language skills develop and allow children
to process their thoughts and emotions with others in ways that were not
possible previously. Piaget’s assessment of children’s cognitive development
may not be accurate, however. If preschool children are often able to grasp the
concept of death (Rosengren et al., 2014), elementary school children are even
more likely to be able to do so. Massat, Moses, and Orstein (2008) suggest that
elementary school aged children are often abruptly returned to school after a
major loss and that this means their dual process oscillation (between restora-
tion and loss orientations) is disturbed as they must stay in restoration orienta-
tion to function at school. They suggest that some of the psychological sequela
of loss in elementary school may be related to this abrupt reentry with few to
help process their loss. Massat et al. (2008) emphasize how important school
social workers are in the amelioration of children’s grief.Social Development
Children who have not entered school generally have social relationships that
are mediated by their caretakers. Even in school, much of the activity is struc-
tured and supervised until the first “recess” at school or the initial unsuper-
vised play date with a peer. This new type of interaction demands social skills.