4 Elementary School–Aged Children 103children move through adolescence without open disclosure and feeling the
freedom to engage in intimate relationships and friendships without a sense
of defensiveness.
An interesting side effect of programs such as ours is that recent research
shows that children with HIV infection actually have fewer mental health
problems than children who were HIV exposed but are uninfected (Malee et
al., 2011). It seems likely that the extra attention the children who were HIV
positive received may have helped them as they grew up in families often
affected by maternal mental illness, substance use, and economic resource
problems (Malee et al., 2011). These children received adult attention in their
intervention programs and their families received supportive services. They
were able to process not only their condition, but also the circumstances of
their lives. One can only assume this was helpful.Not an American Movie
Huong Nguyen and Deborah Falk
Huong Nguyen is a young woman who writes of her experience moving to the United
States in childhood. This narrative is then discussed by Deborah Falk, an instructor
with years of experience helping facilitate English language learning and adjustment
to the United States among new immigrants.“When I reflect on it now, I realize I didn’t really understand what my mother
meant when she told me we were leaving for the United States. The epiph-
any that should have arrived still had not reached me when we were at the
airport. I remember trying to make myself feel sad so I would cry because
that’s what people do in the movies. My most vivid image of that last day is
of myself running toward my father. I stepped over the red belt that separated
the departing from those waving goodbye, and put my teary face against him.
I did this because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. The thought that
I would never see him again never came. I forgot to realize it wasn’t the movies.
“And it wasn’t. Living in the United States was not glamorous and rich
like in the videos I had seen. No one was aware that we existed. Everything sur-
rounding us was incomprehensible. My mother, in her frustration, did not realize
that shouting back Vietnamese in vain could not make anyone understand her.
“For the first few years, we lived timidly. I went to school because I was
the only one that could; both of my older brothers are mentally handicapped.
By second grade, I had already learned to peel shrimp, mop the floor, and
do the dishes. In addition to household chores, I became the family secretary,
interpreter, translator, and connection to everything that was English speak-
ing. I read and explained the mail to my mother. I called phone companies,
filled out my school medical forms, and left school early to accompany my
mother to her doctor’s appointments. No longer could I pout and cry and
expect my mother to coax me as I had in Vietnam. Parental roles gradually
reversed as I took on responsibilities most 7-year-olds never knew.
“As I ceased to be a child, my relationship with my mother altered. At
a very young age, it became businesslike. I talked to her mainly about what