180 Grief and Loss Across the Lifespan
Gilin’s reading at the end of this chapter demonstrates how trauma treatment
is used as an intervention for PTSD (complex trauma) with a young adult female
who exhibits flashbacks, nightmares/sleep disturbances, overwhelming anxiety
and somatic complaints/medical problems. As so many veterans return from
service with PTSD and similar symptoms, this reading will elucidate in detail the
main thrust of trauma theory and treatment which includes establishing safety,
teaching strategies for calming down a hyperaroused nervous system (use of
meditative deep breathing as one strategy) and using “grounding techniques” to
guide awareness away from the past to focus on aspects of the present.Chronic Illness
When a young adult faces a chronic illness and/or life-threatening disease, she
or he needs to become self-absorbed in order to monitor physical well-being,
which can make achieving intimacy more difficult. Because any serious illness
involves increased self-absorption, one of the emotional risks of having a dis-
ease like breast cancer at this stage of life is that it may push a young person
toward isolation and/or meeting his or her own needs so that intimacy and/
or deepening of relationships becomes more difficult. Movement away from
the self-focus of EA is challenged.
Another arena affected by chronic illness is the struggle for independence
from one’s family of origin at a time when the young adult who is ill might
need to rely on family. For example, a young adult who is diagnosed with
breast cancer may want to remain independent of her family but may also
need her family to help her through the difficult points of chemotherapy and/
or radiation. When young adults are diagnosed with life-threatening illness,
this is out of the ordinary and untimely. Young adults seem to struggle with
the tension between wanting to normalize their condition and recognizing the
challenges their condition entails. In considering the narratives of many young
adults with varied chronic illnesses, Heaton (2015) found that social compari-
sons typically included comparing themselves as similar to their nondisabled
friends and distancing themselves from people with similar conditions. This
seems to indicate that the loss of health is connected to a loss of esteem for
one’s condition. Losses may be compounded as family, romantic partners, and
friends struggle to understand how to help and what sort of support might be
needed. The young adult may feel robbed of a future.
Coping with serious illness and potential death means coping with an
uncertain future at the same time that one is developmentally primed to find
a place in the world. Conversely, coping with a serious illness can catapult a
young adult into prioritizing, at a young age, what is most important to him or
her. It may promote the willingness to take a risk to act on a dream rather than
to assume there is plenty of time to pursue the dream, as most young adults can.OTHERS’ EXPERIENCE Of A YOUNG ADULT’S DEATH
Loss of a Young Adult as Experienced by Young Adult
Little research exists on young adults’ loss of peers/friends either in the military
service or in civilian life (Beardslee, 2013; Fink, Gallaway, & Millikan, 2013).