7 Young Adulthood 179
the future; females easily saw themselves with children and a partner who would
provide them with the security of a united family. Young men also wanted a
future where they would be part of a couple and a family, but expressed greater
doubts because they feared repeating their father’s errors. The young adult males
were found to have continuing doubts about their own ability to commit and to
assume responsibility toward future generations. Despite some of the negative
consequences of parental divorce, some of the young adults developed a sense
of greater independence as well an increased sense of social competence (Scabini
& Cigoli, 2004) and valued the ability to stay emotionally close to their mother.
Suffice to say that gender roles played out in this study and seem likely to impact
young adults’ grief after parental divorce.
Young adults in college seem to exhibit changes in their ability to commit
to relationships when parents have divorced, and this may be related to fear
of relationship loss. Researchers found negative associations between parental
divorce and students’ own relationship commitment, generally mediated by
students’ approval of divorce more generally (Cui, Fincham, & Durtschi, 2011).
They found that these associations were mediated by whether the parental
divorce was seen as a good thing by the student (when the student thought the
marital relationship was poor) or whether it was viewed as unnecessary (the
minority view). The mediating variables of relationship duration, approval of
divorce, and approval (or not) of their parents’ divorce mean that there is no
simplistic relationship that connects parental divorce to young adult’s poten-
tial for divorce, yet these intervening variables also give indication that some
young adults may experience their parents’ divorce as more of a loss (when it
was viewed as unnecessary) than others. Further, in protecting oneself from
the possibility of a relationship loss, some young adults may limit their own
relationship commitment as a defense against loss.
Loss and Problems Related to U.S. Military Service
Recent U.S. military deployments are unparalleled in their frequency and
duration (Kaplow, Layne, Saltzman, Cozza, & Pynoos, 2013). These multiple
deployments (accompanied by high levels of loss) often lead to mental health
problems. Army psychologists who conducted research in Iraq found that 30%
of the troops (who spend an average of 56 hours per week experiencing high
levels of combat) demonstrated signs of acute stress (28%), anxiety (13%), and
depression (12%), and 30% are screened as having mental health problems
when stationed outside fortified areas (Zoroya, 2007).
Young adult veterans who have returned from Iraq and Afghanistan
face multiple losses and adjustments as they adapt to their former lives in
the workforce and family. The returning veteran has “lost” the life she or he
once knew and his or her family has been without this family member for
extended periods of time. Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is rampant and
many veterans return with traumatic brain injuries that leave them changed
(Findley, 2010). Although widows and widowers (partners) of the Iraq/
Afghanistan wars will have to adjust to a life after the death of a spouse or
partner, those whose partner returns home may experience the “ambiguous
loss” (Boss, 1999, 2006) of having their partner back in body, but not back with
the same identity as before combat.
