7 Young Adulthood 195can tell them that their abusers have “two problems” and they will need to
work on each one.- Couples therapy should only be considered if certain conditions are met,
including the following: both spouses should freely agree to couples ses-
sions and the abuser admits and takes responsibility for his or her abusive
behavior. The survivor commits to making his or her safety a priority
(Bograd & Mederos, 1999; Goldner, 1998). “Couples work is contraindi-
cated if the abuser expresses no remorse, denies his actions, only blames
the victim, and has little commitment to change” (Bograd & Mederos,
1999, p. 303). - When clients are dissociated, use “grounding techniques” to guide their
awareness “away from their internal (past) focus to aspects of the present
(external) situation” (Saakvitne et al., 2000, p. 110). For example, help the
client to connect to his or her body and personal control, and to the safe
context of the current setting and the counselor. - In the case of ongoing sleep disturbance, depression, anxiety, and other
symptoms of posttraumatic stress, refer to a psychiatrist for medication
evaluation (Scott & Briere, 2006). Prazosin appears promising in recent
studies for its capacity to reduce trauma-related nightmares and insomnia
(Shad, Suris, & North, 2011). - Workers should be very mindful of the impact the work with survivors of
IPV has on them, in terms of their emotional reactions and on their belief
systems (McCann and Pearlman, 1990). In order to be effective with cli-
ents, workers must make self-care a priority and must view it as a core skill
necessary for competent clinical practice. - Advocate for laws and social policies that would bring justice and needed
services to survivors. The website for the National Coalition against
Domestic Violence is a good source of information on how we can all “take
a stand” against domestic violence: http://www.ncadv.org.
Within the first year of counseling, Jane worked through her ambivalent
feelings toward her husband and her feelings of responsibility for his abuse,
and filed for a divorce. Sadly, her ex-husband continued to stalk her and to
violate the Protection Order, and she reported these violations to the Police.
A year and a half after she began counseling, he attempted to break down
her back door and enter the house with two lethal weapons, but she was able
to call the police before he harmed her. He was arrested and convicted and
sent to prison and she was finally able to live without fear and to move for-
ward in many areas of her life—socially, professionally, and physically. Her
two children are thriving, academically and socially. Jane continues working
very hard in counseling to understand what happened to her in her marriage,
to understand why she acted as she did, and to finally believe that she was not
the horrible person her husband always said she was. In her words, “I know
now that I do not need to be embarrassed about what my ex-husband did to
me. It was not my fault.” In both her friendships and her dating life, she has
been able to learn how to assess sooner whether someone is trustworthy and
to gradually assert her own needs. However, at this time, Jane is growing more
terrified as the day approaches when her ex-husband is released from prison.
Her nightmares have returned. Her own personal development is once again