the-scenes team of just eight.
Now, though, we must travel
with data wranglers, who spend
all night downloading and
assimilating the bulging 4K
high-definition camera chips.
And we need an army of people
to probe our noses and throats,
and we have drones and
mechanics and mini-cam
specialists and, because there
are so many people to be fed
and watered and bunked at
night, we need a squadron of
producers and helpers and
caterers and security people.
Which is why, on a recent
filming trip across the Arctic
Circle, we had a crew of 72.
In more remote parts of the
world it is extremely difficult
to move so many people along
the route each day because, in
countries such as Madagascar
or Burma, you can’t just hire
late-model 4x4s. Because there
aren’t any. You have to beg
and steal and borrow anything
with four wheels and a seat,and when one of the vehicles
breaks down, which happens
all the time because it’s held
together with baler twine,
you’ve got to get the people
out of it and split up, quickly,
into other vehicles so that no
time is wasted. And that’s why
we usually end up with cars
containing four cameramen
and a drone assistant at the
front of the column, when
what we need is a mini-cam
operator. Who’s in the 13th
vehicle back, which is on a
single-track road, stuck up to
its door handles in mud.
You really do get a sense
most days of what it must
have been like keeping that
Arnhem-bound convoy going
through Holland back in ’44.
“What do you mean the boats
are at the back?”
In the frozen wastelands
of northern Scandinavia,
mercifully, things were much
easier because the roads were
wide and we could hire a fleetof big, brand-new Volvos from
reputable companies who’d
maintained them using stuff
that isn’t baler twine.
Because of this, the system
worked perfectly. James, Richard
and I would operate with a small
fighting convoy of vehicles, full
of cameramen and sound
recordists, while the rest of the
convoy could follow along a
couple of miles back. Partly so it
didn’t get in our way. And partly
to holdback the fanboys who
like to follow us around in their
lowered Hondas.
On about the fourth night,
as it was all going so smoothly,
we had a few refreshing beers
(Hawkstone, obviously) — and
Richard Hammond made an
observation: “You know, some
of those Volvos do look pretty
good. I think I may buy one. It’s
exactly what I need.”
James May put his pint down
and said: “Good idea. Having a
Volvo is like going to the
dentist. It’s something you’veDRIVING● Jeremy Clarkson
It used to be a pipe and slippers on
wheels — but it’s a cool kid now
REVIEW:
VOLVO V90
CROSS COUNTRY
I
n the olden days when
I first started to travel the
world making television
shows, I had a crew of four.
A producer, a director,
a cameraman and a sound
recordist. We all mucked
in, lugging tripods up
mountains and humping
heavy boxes at airports
while someone queued for
the rental car.
Even when Top Gear became
big and fancy and we started
making 90-minute specials,
the crews were still fairly
tiny. We did our epic trans-
Botswana trip with a behind-48 • The Sunday Times Magazine