It was a slow burner. She’s absolutely stunning but
what sealed it for us is that I made her laugh. My toes
are curling at saying this, but we were quite passionate
back in the day! We spent a lot of time in bed laughing.
I wanted to make sure I could provide for a family, so
we waited a while to start trying. Like any new parent
we were learning on the job. I hadn’t realised things
weren’t quite as expected, as my friends’ kids were
much older. It was only when we went to look at a
nursery that we realised something wasn’t adding up.
The first paediatrician we saw said it was typical twin
behaviour, so we had another 18 months of blissful
ignorance, which is upsetting as we could have put
things in place sooner. Thankfully we knew what to
look for with Felicity, she was diagnosed much sooner.
Every child with autism is different, so I try to
address their character, rather than their autism. I’m in
a house with three children with autism and a wife who
has it. I’ve always known Christine has certain ways of
doing things, like with her socialising and her food, but
I never overanalysed it. Neither of us twigged that was
autism until she was diagnosed last year.
It was like a weight off her shoulders when it was
confirmed. Some adults figure they’ve got this far
without officially knowing, so why bother? There’s a lotSTRANGE
HABITS
Christine
on Paddy
His dad dancing
in my Instagram
videos. But it
does crack
me upPaddy on
Christine
Nothing she
does is strange
to me. I love her,
quirks and allmore support out there for children, whereas adults
who’ve been recently diagnosed, not so much.
Despite everything I think I’m a chilled-out parent.
I remember, growing up, my friends being in fear of
their dads and I never wanted to be that way. I try to
teach my kids boundaries and right from wrong, but if
they’ve crayoned on the couch I don’t get worked up.
Being a parent is the best thing that’s ever happened
to me. Our chaos at home is just normal to me. People
need to stop being so judgmental about others with
autism and assuming kids are just being unruly and
naughty if they’re having a meltdown. I try to educate
knobheads, rather than rising to their ignorance.
Coping with the situation can be overwhelming.
Christine is great at noticing when I’m struggling
before I spot it in myself and she was the one who
pushed me to get help. I was diagnosed with clinical
depression four years ago. Having children and a wife
with autism is hard, but I love them unconditionally,
and I wouldn’t have it any other way nInterviews by Sarah Ewing
The podcast Table Talk with Paddy and Christine,
in partnership with McCain and Family Fund, is out
PHIL FISK, DAVID MORGAN now. Donate at mccainfamilyfund.co.uk
The Sunday Times Magazine • 9