2019-03-01ReadersDigest_AUNZ

March• 2019 | 75

SWEPTOFFHERFEET

My granddaughter wanted a

Cinderella-themed party, so I invited

all her friends over and made them

clean my house. @IGREENMONK

IN STITCHES

HER:It’s over between us.

ME:Isitbecauseofallmy

embroiderypuns?

HER:Ithoughtyouwouldstop.

ME:Sewitseamed. @KALVINMACLEOD

COMEATAPRICE

My grandad never stops

complaining about how much

different things cost.

“Fourdollarsforacupoftea?Two

dollars for three digestive biscuits?”

Isaid,“Look,Grandad.Youjust

called round.Ididn’tinviteyou!”

SUBMITTED BY MICHA BRYN “Haveyouanytwo-wattbulbs?”

“For what?”

“That’ll do. I’ll take two.”

Why is ‘o’ the noisiest vowel?

All the others are in audible.

Whatdoyougetwhenyoucrossa

joke with a rhetorical question?

ZERO TOLERANCE

Iboughtmyfriendan

elephant for his room.

He said, “Thanks.”

I said,“Don’tmentionit.”

“Yes,I’mpositivetheeggshavegonebeyond their expiration date.” reddit.com

The Big Four

Four quick jokes

thatmighttakealittletime

(orreadingaloudonce

or twice) to get:

CARTOON: BILL ABBOTT