Poetry Translating as Expert Action Processes, priorities and networks

 Poetry Translating as Expert Action

out-loud chanting to check whether the Line’s formal structure followed natural

English speech stresses – as in Line 2:

TU254 so much they are full of it, even the empty sockets of sight.

TU255 # – er, that’s really awkward! so much

TU256 it has filled – yeah, cross that [they are full of it] out:

TU257 so much #

TU258 # they have filled

TU259 – no... # so much

TU260 that it has filled – writing down –

TU261 the empty sockets of sight –

TU262 right. Caesura after filled

In Draft 2, Rhyme (25.9%), Rhythm (25.3%) and Image (22.8%) were the biggest

single concerns. This highlights the importance of Image testing in the rhyme

searches and Line rewriting which dominated Draft 2. As with Rhyme searches,

Image-testing of semantic changes resulting from Rhythm-based reworking again

tended to allow creative adjustments but query creative transformations.

6.3.5.5 Polishing

Phase-3 polishing often involved Rhythm or Feel/Flow changes that did not affect

the Line’s semantics. Sometimes, however, creative transformations were pro-

posed, which again underwent Image-testing. For instance, during Draft 3 re-

reading I felt that my Line 9 (was it wrenched from drowsiness by the dark) seemed

“sort of slightly translationese somehow” (TU489–490). On looking at the source

text, I realized that the BCS drijema (‘drowsiness’) was etymologically related to

the English word dream, which inspired me to replace drowsiness with dream.

TU496 Wow,

TU497 now of course

TU498 in Serbo-Croat,

TU499 in the original,

TU500 he [Kulenović] couldn’t have used dream

because it’s the same word as

TU501 sleep: sanjati. #

TU502 # So, there are -

TU503 dreaming, yeah, because you can

TU504 dream awake in English, can’t you?

TU505 #

TU506 [drowsiness] dreaming.

TU507 I quite like

TU508 wrenched from dreaming -

TU509 sort of thinking of aboriginal

[= Australian dreamtime] there, yeah:

TU510 it’s pushing it a bit, but it’s pushing it in

TU511 the right direction.

Rhyme Dr2/#4

Lexis Dr3/#5

Image Dr3/#7

Evaluation